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And then he was in the room, stopping dead as he saw her. For one moment she thought she could read frustration, regret in those chocolate depths. And then they were cold, and dark, and forbidding, shutting her out as effectively as anything he could say.
‘Kaspar...’
‘Have you seen the papers?’
He cut across her and it was almost too much to bear, the way his tone devastated her so easily. So completely.
‘How could I have?’ She swallowed hard, as if it could buy her more time. ‘I’ve only just woken up.’
‘Then allow me to show you.’
His harsh voice sliced her like a hundred scalpel blades, the barely contained fury in no doubt as he stalked past her, flinging the door open and striding down the hallway with all the ire that could have parted the ocean behind them had he changed direction.
It was all Archie could do to scurry behind him, her mind racing too fast for the rest of her thoughts to catch up. Later, she would wonder how she’d had the presence of mind to grab a dressing gown as she left. Short and flimsy as it was, she had no idea at that point how grateful she would be to pull it around her near-naked form in some semblance of self-pride.
‘They’re emblazoned with ugly photos of the scene from last night,’ he continued bitingly, as he entered the study and powered up the laptop, which still sat quietly on the side from his latest round of research. ‘Headlines detailing exactly what kind of a volatile, out-of-control man I am. Screaming it for the world to know.’
‘They don’t know you.’ Her breath came out in a whoosh as she moved, actually took a step towards him. ‘I do.’
She didn’t realise how foolish it was until he snatched his arm away from her outstretched fingers, his eyes darkening with a dangerous glint, the spat-out word a Persian curse that she only now recalled from her youth.
‘I do not want your sympathy, Archana.’
She flinched but he barely seemed to notice.
Or perhaps he was deliberately trying to hurt her. To push her away.
‘This is exactly who I told you I was; who I told you I wanted to spare our baby from seeing. But you wouldn’t listen. You, in your arrogance, thought you could change me.’
‘This isn’t who you are,’ she faltered, but he shot her down.
‘This is exactly who I am. I knew it before. It was only my own ego that let me believe your naïve, rose-tinted view of me. You insisted on making us a spectacle, but I was the one who should have known better. Now they have uncovered the story from my past. And so we must both pay the penalty.’
Archie opened her mouth to speak, but then she caught sight of some of the photos he’d been talking about and her lips became too dry, her throat too cracked to form any kind of coherent words. Even if she could have, her heart was clattering in her chest so wildly that she couldn’t hope to think straight, couldn’t organise the words that jumbled in her head.
One thing leaped out of her more than anything else. One sad, shameful, truth. The expression in her eyes as she stared at Kaspar. The pathetic, unadulterated adoration in her expression.
He was right. She was naïve, and a fool. Nothing more than the silly little girl she’d always been. She’d fallen in love with him. It was there on her face, mocking her, just as Kaspar was mocking her. Once again, she’d fooled herself into believing he’d let her in and here he was reminding her that he never truly would. Perhaps he simply wasn’t capable of it.
Kaspar could never be hers. He could never be anyone’s. She was a fool for even considering for a moment that he could be.
I deserve better, she chanted desperately, as if repeating it wildly in her head would be enough to convince her. I deserve someone who truly loves me.
And one day, maybe, she might believe that.
So much for the
bold, sophisticated Archie she’d tried to kid herself that she was. It was time to grow up and take responsibility. And that meant putting Kaspar Athari into her past once and for all. Or at least the idea of any relationship with him. The truth was that he was her baby’s father, she could never truly escape him for the rest of her life.
It was embarrassing how much that thought gave as much comfort as it did torment.
But she didn’t have to show it. Lifting her head, Archie forced herself to look him directly in the eyes, her voice conveying a breeziness she hadn’t known she possessed.
‘You’re right.’ Where did that hint of a tight, cold smile come from? ‘I see that now. This marriage was a foolish idea and I apologise for anything I did to make you feel you had little choice but to suggest it.’
Her entire chest wrenched at the words, splitting her apart from her insides out with such force that she had no idea how she managed to stay standing, let alone talking. It was torture not to be able to read a single expression on his face, not that any expression even flickered over Kaspar’s unrelenting features. The only reaction at all was the clenched jaw and steady, clear pulse. But even that told her nothing of what was running through his head.
How had she failed to realise before how little she knew him?
