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Mitchell looked down at Gage who was looking up at Mitchell and smiling. When my brother gagged at that noodle lodged in his nose, I nearly pissed myself laughing.
“Dude, calm down. It’s a piece of pasta. Just have him blow his nose, it will come out. And Mitchell, since when does pasta make you gag?” I asked.
“Since it’s stuck up a person’s nose!” he replied.
Twenty minutes later, we had a crying Gage who wanted the pasta out of his nose. We were all staring at one other as we tried to come up with ideas. Gage couldn’t blow his nose and only got frustrated the more we tried to get him to do it.
“You gotta do it, Daddy,” Chloe said, staring up at her father. Her hands were on her hips exactly like my sister Waylynn’s had been earlier today when she was grilling me about Maebh. It had to be a Parker woman thing.
“You do,” I said as Tripp, Jonathon, Mitch, and Wade all nodded in agreement.
“She’s going to kill me,” Steed said.
“Better you than me,” Chloe piped in, causing most of us to laugh. Steed was the exception.
“Wonder where she learned that?” Tripp chuckled.
“Chloe, you call Mommy from Daddy’s phone.”
My adorable niece held out her hand and rolled her eyes. If she had been twenty years older I could imagine her saying, “Give it to me. Women have to do all the dirty work.”
“Hey, Mommy! Oh, it’s good. Uncle Tripp did surgery on Holly, my princess doll, while Daddy showed Uncle Jonathon how to put Liberty’s outfit on the right way. Uncle Mitchell rocked Merit to sleep and Uncle Cord and Uncle Wade have been drinking all the beer.”
“Hey!” Wade and I said at once.
“Mmm-hmm. Yes. I know. Boys,” Chloe declared. All of a sudden she seemed like she was eighteen. How in the hell did she even observe all of that?
“But, Mommy, Daddy has a problem. Gage put a mac-a-roni noddle in his nose and it won’t come out. He was afraid to call and tell you.”
Steed’s face fell and Gage let out a little laugh. Almost like he knew his sister had just thrown their father under the bus.
Wade tried to hold his laughter in and almost succeeded. Steed glared at him and pointed. “Someday, asshole, this will be you!”
Holding up his hands in defeat, Wade forced himself to stop laughing.
Chloe handed Steed his cell phone. “Mommy wants to talk to you.”
Steed shook his head and stepped away.
“For Pete’s sake, man! Be a father, dude!” Tripp cried out.
Pointing to Tripp, Steed whispered, “I hope you end up with twins!”
Tripp’s smile dropped. “That was just mean, dude.”
Taking the phone from Chloe, Steed cleared his throat. “Hey, baby. Yeah. Okay. Hmmm, is that the only thing to do? Right. Okay. Got it. Nope, everything else is great. I love you too. Bye.”
That was the fastest I’d ever seen Steed get off the phone with Paxton. He pushed the phone into his back pocket and then looked around the room before his eyes landed on me.
“Paxton said Gage needs to open his mouth, and someone has to blow into it and that will push the noodle out.”
Mitchell gagged. Wade and Jonathon walked into the kitchen so fast I didn’t even have time to react. That left Tripp, me, or Steed to do the deed.
“I know you’re not looking at me, dude,” I said.
“Cord! You know CPR! Paxton said you’re the best one to do it.”
Tripp looked at me and nodded.
“Yeah, no. I mean, I’ll do whatever for the little guy, you need me to buy him the best birthday gift, I’m there. Need me to buy him his first car or pay for college, I’m all over that. Need me to talk to him about the birds and the bees and I’m your man…but that? No,” I spoke so low to keep the little ears in the room from hearing.
Steed looked at me with pleading eyes.
“Dude! You’ve cleaned his butt with green poop and you can’t do this?” I declared.
“How come you don’t want to do it, Uncle Cord? And what would you tell him about birds and bees, about how fast they fly or how much honey they can make?” Chloe asked.
We all stared at Chloe. How was she even hearing these conversations? Parker women.
The way Steed gave me those damn puppy dog eyes had me nearly ready to break. Then Chloe looked at me, her little blue eyes questioning why I wouldn’t help her baby brother get the noodle out of his nose.
“Fine. Bring him into the kitchen and sit him on the island.”
Steed grinned. “Thanks, dude. I knew I could count on you. You’ve always been my favorite brother.”
I rolled my eyes and mumbled. “Whatever.”
After Steed placed Gage on the counter, I told Gage to open wide and that I was going to blow a puff of air into his mouth. Gage laughed. I guess to him, this was funny.
