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“Ha!” Fat fucking chance of that happening. I knew that, just like I knew by that look in his green eyes, all he wanted from me was a distraction.

Sadie got shot and had been in a coma for two weeks. He was stressed, angry, hurt, and probably carried a ton of guilt on his broad shoulders. And lovesick fool that I was, I rushed in eagerly to make him feel better. Even if it was only for a little while.

I splashed cold water on my face and shook out my limbs until the disappointment was gone. I shook them out until my steps were solid as I left the bathroom and stopped inside Jasper’s office. He was on the phone and didn’t bother to look up at me, so I pushed my shoulders back and walked out of the office with my head held high.

Well, fuck him and the horse he rode in on.

Yeah, I didn’t believe that, but it was what I told myself every time he dismissed me so easily. That was what it took to show up every single day for my shift at Midnight Mass, looking at Jasper’s beautiful face and seeing nothing but indifference.

One fuck wouldn’t change that. Wouldn’t change him, and the truth was, I didn’t want him to change.

Jasper was so fucking sexy with his thick brown hair, so commanding that not even one hair would dare fall out of place.

His dark green eyes had just enough gold flecks in them to lighten up that scowl he wore like a uniform. And it didn’t hurt that he was as big as a football player, muscular and solid.

That whole uptight king-of-the-world thing he had going on was also a major fucking turn-on. Not to mention the ruthless streak he had that made everyone fear him.

Not me, though.

I wasn’t afraid of Jasper because I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, not physically anyway. Truth be told, he didn’t know he crushed me with every bland look, every time he ignored me or dismissed me. Or when he took the Benjamins out of his pocket to pay me for a quick fuck.

No, he didn’t hurt me on purpose.

He was aloof as fuck ninety percent of the time. The other ten percent? He had a mean streak a mile wide that he used to cover up his real feelings, and each time he covered them up, I convinced myself what he was covering up was feelings for me.

Un-fucking-likely.

He didn’t even know how I felt because I was too chicken shit to tell him, so we played this one-sided game where we flirted and bantered back and forth. Tonight I got to fuck him, and my punishment was that I pretended like that was all I wanted. I acted like it was good enough for me.

I told myself I was tired of men who used their manhood to hide how they really felt, but whenever Jasper needed me, I was there.

Love was fucking stupid.

But apparently, those wise old dudes were right. I couldn’t help who I loved. I also couldn’t change how they felt, so I got back to work just as the bartender announced last call.

“Another round of shots?” A group of Irish tourists smiled up at me, or rather my tits, and nodded eagerly.

“Some of that Velvet Fire, love. It’s fuckin’ delicious. And one for yourself.”

“Thanks, boys. Comin’ right up.” I flitted around from table to table, booth to booth, until everyone was more tipsy than sober, a little lighter in their pockets and all smiles as I poured them into Ubers and Lyfts and cars with loving, designated drivers.

“You sure I can’t convince ya to give me your number, beautiful?” The redheaded Irishman had decided to give it one last shot. Even if I didn’t smell like Jasper or have him on my brain, I wouldn’t have gone with him.

Not that he could afford me anyway. “Sorry, hon, I still have another hour of work left before I’m free, and you’ll be in dreamland long before then.”

His shoulders fell in disappointment. “Another time, then? Maybe tomorrow,” he called out as his buddies dragged him to the car idling in the parking lot.

“Maybe,” I called back with a smile because guys like him were the best kind of customers. They looked but didn’t touch without permission, they flirted and tipped big, and I was happy to tease in return and shove my tits at them so I could squeeze a few more bucks from them.

Then again, maybe what I needed was another fuck to erase Jasper from my mind, at least for a few hours. It was hopeless, though. I loved him the moment I set eyes on him. His physical features drew me in, but the more I got to know him, the harder I fell.

He was ruthless in his business dealings, but that didn’t mean shit when it came to how merciless he was when it came to protecting his family. Fuck, he was hot as hell.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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