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Holy shit. I expected Jasper to look drunk and disheveled, but he was stone cold sober and hot as shit in a deep green button up that highlighted the different shades of green in his eyes and a pair of jeans that were fitted and worn in all the right places.
Everything about the outfit, as casual as it was, screamed expensive. Designer brand. Rich as fuck and twice as hot. Being sober doesn’t mean he’s not here for a quick fuck, the cynical bitch who lived in my head reminded me.
I wanted to tell her to shut up. To mind her business.
But the bitch was right.
I blinked to clear my mind of how delicious Jasper looked standing in front of me, that trademark scowl on his handsome face.
“Jasper. What brings you by?”
I did my best to sound casual, to act like I didn’t care one way or the other why he was at my door.
“I came to see you.” His words came out on a throaty growl that sent wonderfully erotic shivers down my spine; his tone said he thought the reason for his visit was obvious.
“Okaaaay. What is it that you need?” There were just two reasons Jasper sought me out, sex or work, and I wouldn’t let my stupid, starved heart think or believe otherwise.
In an instant, his scowl disappeared and was slowly replaced by a lopsided grin. “Not happy to see me, Mo?”
I shrugged. “I’m not happy or unhappy, just confused about why you’re here.”
Jasper was mercurial as hell, and the question triggered something dark within him. He got in my personal face, intimidating but not threatening.
“You’re having my baby, Mo. What in the hell do you think I’m doing here?”
I took a step back and folded my arms, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the possessive way he looked at me. It made me feel things that were impossible, things that just weren’t true. Instead of absorbing his words, I shook my head as if that act alone could ward off the effect they were having on me.
“No, I’m not. I’m having my baby.”
“Are we back to that, now?”
“I heard you and the boys talking. Mo is such a slut; she fucks everyone; are you sure the baby is yours?”
I clenched my teeth against the ache those words caused deep in my chest. “And you know what else I heard? The deafening silence that came from you.”
“I don’t like eavesdropping, Maureen.” His tone was hard and commanding, and dammit, I liked it.
More importantly, my nipples liked it. “I don’t like being called a liar, Jasper. I don’t like being judged, either.”
Jasper nodded his agreement and stepped inside, forcing me to take a few steps back. “Fine. I’m here now.”
But he wasn’t, not really. “I don’t want or need you here out of pity or obligation.”
Jasper’s black-booted foot pushed the door closed, and he walked forward as if this was his place instead of mine.
“Then tell me, Mo, what do you want? Want do you need?”
You. The answer was just that simple, but that wasn’t what Jasper meant. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, and even if it was, I wasn’t brave enough to say those words out loud.
“It doesn’t matter what I want because you can’t or won’t give it to me.”
I followed him to the living room, where he dropped down on the sofa and threaded his fingers behind his head. “Try me.”
Could I? Could I vocalize my deepest, darkest desires? Could I take that risk now that I had Jasper’s full attention on me? His baby growing inside me? No.
My shoulders rose and fell casually as if the words I was about to say were my big truth when they weren’t.
“I want the dream, Jasper. The picket fence with the loving husband, the big house, and two point five kids. I want PTA meetings and bake sales, carpooling, and hating other boring-ass soccer moms. I want all the shit that was stolen from me when I was a kid, including a man who loves me, who is with me because that’s where he wants to be, not because it’s the right thing to do.”
I was breathless after the last word left my mouth, but I tilted my chin in defiance, daring him to laugh at the part of my dream I was courageous enough to share.
Jasper stared up at me and nodded from his spot on my sofa. He nodded and stared for so long that my shoulders fell because I knew that I wouldn’t be getting what I wanted from him. Not today. Not ever.
Finally, he let out a long, slow breath, accompanied by another nod. “Okay, but what do you want or need right now this very second?”
He wanted something easy. Something simple. I could do that, give him an easy out. “Food,” I sighed. “I want something to eat.”
