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“Of course it doesn’t sound silly. I’m here hoping for a good book deal, remember? As much as I love teaching, I love writing, too.”
“Have you always wanted to write a book?” she asked.
“I knew by the time I was nine years old that I wanted to be an author. I would visit libraries all the time when my parents would…um, well, they’d argue, throw things at each other—real ugly stuff. Anyway, I’d sneak off to the library during all of it, and I found comfort there. Soaking up the pages, sitting in the comfortable recliners. The books were such an escape for me—still are.”
“Wow, Cole. That’s so sweet—I mean the part about the library and the books. I’m sorry to hear that about your parents.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it. The past is the past. I’m beyond that now.” I tried hard not to frown. I hadn’t come all this way with her to discuss my worthless parents, so I changed the subject. “Anyway, the book I’m working on now, it’s my debut. I’d been fine-tuning it for months before sending queries. One of my colleagues read it early and told me to try to land an agent, and from there, I decided to give it a go. Now I’m here, hoping all the work has been worth it.”
“And what’s the genre?” she asked.
“Science fiction,” I said, smirking.
Zara grinned. “That’s incredible. When will you let me read it?”
“Oh—um. That will be never.”
“What?” she squealed. “Oh, come on. I’m sure it’s amazing!”
“Well, we’ll see how amazing it is with the news my agent gives me. Then if it gets to bookshelves, I’ll consider giving you a copy.”
“I’ll just buy my own to support you.” She smiled. “I’m sure you will get a great deal, Cole.”
I sipped my wine, fighting a smile. Zara’s dream of becoming an editor wasn’t silly at all. In fact, I couldn’t help thinking how much we had in common with one another. She was an impeccable student, a natural with English literature, and she loved books. She may as well have been my soul mate. Too bad I didn’t believe in any of that.
“You should definitely pursue an editor position. Life’s too short to not follow your dreams, Zara.” I reached across the table and tipped her chin. “Promise me you’ll never give up on them.”
“I promise,” she murmured, smiling. God, I wanted to give her everything, but I was well aware of our situation. This was simply a getaway—it wasn’t permanent. She couldn’t be mine, and I couldn’t give her all I wanted to give her, no matter how badly I wanted to.
She must’ve noticed my expression change because she smoothed the frown lines between my eyes and said, “Hey, don’t think about everything else outside these walls right now, okay?”
“Yeah.” I forced a smile. “You’re right.”
She cupped my cheek. “I know what the risks are, Cole, and I know you’re worried about what it’ll be like when we get back to reality.”
“It won’t be the same, Zara. It won’t be like this,” I said.
She pulled her hand away slowly, nodding. “I know. But at least I can go back with these memories.”
Fuck. She was killing me. This was too perfect, and also too much. I knew what I wanted. I wanted her…but I had to face the facts. I’d brought her here so we could be far away from anyone we knew. I wanted her with me in Florida so I could do whatever I wanted with her, whenever I wanted, and for it to happen far away from my job.
But what I didn’t realize was that I’d been foolish enough to believe I wouldn’t fall head over heels with her before this weekend was over.
After we finished eating, we lounged on the bed. Zara watched movies on her laptop, and I responded to some emails on mine. I got distracted several times. My eyes would swing over to her, and I’d just watch her.
The way she laughed at a funny scene. The way she twirled her curly hair around one finger. The way she’d look back at me to check on me and smile when she knew I was okay. All of it made my heart ache.
What was this girl doing to me? And why did it hurt knowing all of this bliss, this power, this love would blow up in our faces like a bomb?
I couldn’t fall too deep. It would only hurt us both in the end.
21
Zara
I woke up to Cole’s forearm wrapped around my waist and the feel of his cock on my ass. He was still asleep judging by the steady flow of his breaths, but I was very much awake.
The previous night, I’d expected to have sex again, but there seemed to be something on his mind. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the emails he had to respond to or if it was our situation, but I allowed my anxious thoughts to pass when he told me to lay with him. I ended up falling asleep in his arms, and I’d never felt so safe.
