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“She’s awake!”
More noise—footsteps, whispers, murmured words I didn’t understand.
“Holly? Can you hear me?”
Who is that?
I nodded but my eyes refused to open again—they were too heavy. Like a huge weight was on my face. What is that? I tried to push it aside but couldn’t get my hand to move.
“Whoa, whoa, Holly, slow down. Slow down. Can you hear me?”
I could faintly hear her question, but I couldn’t answer. Her voice was thick and far away. Like she was talking to me underwater, but my body or mouth wouldn’t cooperate. I opened my eyes to the voice again. Where was I? Am I dead? If this is heaven, it hurts. Why does it hurt so bad?
My eyes closed and the beeping and pain slowly faded away.
I didn’t know how long I slept, but I woke to harsh lights and the annoying beeping again. Gemma was beside me and I raised my hand to take hers.
“Hey, baby, how are you doing?”
“Am I alive?” My voice was harsh and raspy.
She smiled. “Yes, you’re alive and the baby is doing well.”
“Oh God! The baby! He’s okay?”
Gemma moved forward and applied salve to my lips and I offered her a weak smile. “Thank—thank you.”
“Are you sure he’s a he?”
“This baby has to be a he. A little girl wouldn’t put me through this.” I managed to smile. “You know, hormones and all. Can I sit up? I’m thirsty.”
“Stay put. I’ll get you some ice chips. The doctor should be in soon.” Before Gemma even had a chance to go, a tall man walked in. I assumed he was the doctor, but he wasn’t my obstetrician. Gemma gave me a small wave and mouthed a bye before she left.
“Good morning Miss…Parker. Glad to see you’re awake. How are you feeling today?”
“Like I got run over by a truck.”
“Well, you have been in a pretty nasty car accident.”
The doctor ran through a list of events, informed me I had a broken arm, bruised ribs and sternum, abrasions on my face and hands, and that I was suffering from severe head trauma.
“We have you on some medications and will be monitoring you for any signs of internal bleeding. Do you remember anything about the crash?”
“I’m pregnant,” I told him. “How is my baby?”
“So far there is no sign of distress but after what you’ve been through…we’ll need to monitor everything and make sure there aren’t any complications. How many weeks along are you?”
“Fourteen.”
He nodded. “Okay. Try not to worry right now. We’re here and we’re watching everything closely. Now, there is a young man out in the hall that would like to come in and see you. Think you’re feeling up to a little company?”
“Jack?”
The doctor turned to look over his shoulder, consulting with a nurse, then turned back. “Yes, I believe that is his name. He’s the one who brought you in.”
“Why can’t I remember?”
“This is pretty common after such a trauma. Your memory will likely return. None of the scans show any damage to your brain.”
“That’s good.”
“Yes. How about you get some rest and we’ll see about visitors later. Is there anyone you’d like to call?” I nodded and the doctor gestured to someone across the room. “This is Tammy. She’ll help you make some calls.”
Tammy, a strawberry blonde with expressive green eyes smiled down at me. “You just let me know what you need, okay, Holly?”
“Okay.” I nodded and swallowed, though my throat and mouth were still too dry. “Where are my ice chips?”
Tammy handed me a Styrofoam cup full of ice and a spoon. As I brought some ice to my lips, I thought about Jack waiting outside the room. Part of me wanted him to charge through the doors and take me into his arms and tell me everything was going to be okay, but something was stopping me from asking for him. A lingering sadness in my chest—a big hole where he used to be. I just wished I knew why.
I made phone calls to my family and Rachel before I got comfortable enough to rest again. The hospital room didn’t have a window, so I had no idea how much time had passed. I spent most of the time lost in a tangled web of anxiety, wondering what had happened, whether or not my baby was going to be okay. I also wondered if Jack was still outside the room waiting for me. Eventually a familiar face came into the room and I perked up. “Gemma!”
Gemma smiled and came over to sit in the chair beside my bed. “How are you? I see you got your ice chips. Sorry, I had to run out. I found out you can eat now, though. How about something light? Jello?”
“I’m not really hungry. More worried than anything. Gemma. Do you know what happened to me?”
