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Granny pointed a finger across the table at Tilly. “J’accuse.”
Harold nodded, and Tilly shrugged. “Lie down with dogs and you’ll wake up with fleas,” she said. “They’ll learn quick once those points start adding up.”
Granny shot me an unimpressed glance. “She once made Pete and Ginger’s daughter cry. Sloughed the queen on her every single hand, over and over, until the girl ran off in tears.”
One of the teen girls in question came over and patted Tilly’s shoulder. “Thanks to Aunt Tilly, I had six months of therapy. If it hadn’t been for that, I may have actually enjoyed my life. No big.”
She turned and sauntered off like she hadn’t just dropped a bomb on the table. Tilly caught my shocked expression. “She’s kidding, Miller. Jeez. The girl’s a Marian. She’s tough as nails.”
When the girl turned and winked at me, I let out a breath.
“You’re a horrible woman,” I muttered at my grandmother.
Everyone who heard me snickered in agreement while praising Ginger and Pete’s daughter for being cool under pressure. Apparently, she and her twin sister had recently competed in a fierce volleyball tournament with their high school and had impressed their coach with their drive to win.
“Is it any surprise when they come from these people?” Blue asked, tilting his head at four of his brothers, who’d turned an innocent game of Jenga into a death match at the nearby coffee table.
I played my card when it was my turn and won the next trick. After I set out the next card, I turned to Blue. “Is there anyone in the family who has a hard time with all of the… competition and… differing personalities?”
Blue studied me for a moment before giving me a knowing look. “You mean the chaos and noise?”
I shrugged. “And the sheer number of people. Surely there are introverts among us.”
He nodded. “I think the introverts handle it in different ways. My mom blocks it out and focuses on one person at a time. Jude sits back and watches and lets Derek act as his watchdog. Dante used to get overwhelmed, but after working at Marian House for so long, he’s kind of gotten used to it. On the Wilde side… I think Augie and Saint are kind of like Jude and Derek. Saint seems to keep a close eye on Augie to make sure he’s not getting bowled over or too agitated. I noticed he tends to make an excuse to take Augie outside or back to their room when things get too chaotic. Grandpa Wilde is more like Dante. It seems like he’s gotten used to it over time and actually likes it now. I’m not sure about MJ.” Blue directed this last bit at the woman herself.
MJ was stroking her wife’s hair while Neckie dozed on MJ’s lap. “It wasn’t easy growing up,” MJ admitted. “It bothered me more then than it does now because I had less control over my life. Neckie has taught me some meditation and breathing techniques that help. We do yoga at home and talk about centering. For a while, in my twenties, I tended to remove myself from stressful situations. There’s something to be said for deciding you need space and taking it no matter what everyone else says or thinks. Basically, you need to learn how to look out for you no matter where you are. It’s toxic only when you find yourself acting for others’ benefit but to your detriment.”
Her words hit me like an arrow to the chest, and it took me a minute to catch my breath.
“My mom never liked to trouble anyone,” I said softly. “She never wanted anyone to know when she was upset. Instead, she tried to focus on the positive, to find the good in people and situations. And she taught me to do the same.”
MJ’s expression was tender and understanding.
Meanwhile, Tilly huffed. “Well, that’s just plain crap. Besides, if you think for one minute your emotions aren’t spelled out in bright lights on your face, you’re fooling yourself.” She adjusted her scarf and pointedly didn’t look at me. “Now, it’s your turn again, Miller. Play your damned card.”
I obeyed without thinking. Later, I realized I’d chosen the easy path rather than argue in defense of my mother.
I regretted it.
Maybe if I’d stood up to Tilly then, things wouldn’t have festered. But I hadn’t. I’d allowed the moment to pass, and the festering began to feel like molten lava bubbling up in preparation for the inevitable explosion.
10
Darius
Maybe I should have felt nervous about joining Miller’s big family Christmas dinner, but I didn’t. I was overjoyed with the idea of getting to know him better, and since I knew he was still a little uncomfortable around his large family, I hoped my presence would help take some of the focus off him.
