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His blond brows dipped into a frown at his least favorite nickname from me. “What’s up is that I’m worried about you.”
His words put a temporary stop to my search. “You are? Why?” I didn’t want to see sympathy or pity on my brother’s face so I resumed my search.
“Seriously, Zo?”
I nodded as my eyes spotted the earring, not bothering to look up. “Yeah, seriously. I have a paying job and thanks to you, a free place to live, so what could you possibly be worried about?”
“Shit, Zo. You know I love you, right?”
“I do, but it’s nice to hear.” I flashed a phony smile up at him and got to my feet. “I love you too, Gavin.”
He rolled his eyes. “What I’m saying, poorly, is that I love you but I’m shit at reading your emotions. You’ve always kept to yourself, especially how you’re feeling so I’m not sure if you’re fine or not.”
I shrugged at his spot on assessment of my emotional state. “It’s harder for people to dig the knife in to the bone if you don’t show them where it’ll hurt the most.” I’d shared things about my life with Drew and he’d tossed back at me like a grenade meant to do maximum damage. “No offense. It’s got nothing to do with you, but I’d learned the lesson before you came along.”
“None taken.” He flashed his killer smile and dropped down on the sofa, patting the seat beside him. “Are you all right, Zo? I mean, really all right?”
“I’m getting better every day and I expect that I’ll be all right soon. Very soon.” With each passing day, I thought about Drew a little less, I replayed his wicked words in my head a few times less than the day before, and I focused more on my future. “You’ve got two precious girls you should be using that worry on, save it for them rather than me Gavin.”
“I can multi-task.” He flashed a proud smile and mussed my hair. “So, you’re really pregnant?”
“I am and it’s my own stupid fault. What kind of woman in the twenty-first century goes blank when it comes to contraception? Lesson learned.” One hand went to my stomach where my baby was growing.
“It takes two people to make a baby, accidentally or on purpose.”
I smiled. “Protective older brother looks good on you, Gavin, but I don’t need you to fight this battle because there is no battle to fight.”
“I am protective, dammit. Just tell me he plans to do the right thing.”
It really was adorable, my rock star brother, silently threatening to beat up my boss. “There is no right thing to do here, Gav. You’d prefer that we what, get married and live miserably for the next eighteen years? No thanks. I have always taken care of myself, even when there were two adults in the house, and I can do that again.”
“But that’s just it, Zola. You don’t have to do this alone. Drew has responsibilities, obligations where you and that baby are concerned. Don’t let him off so easily.”
I shook my head. “I’m not letting him off easy, Gavin. I’m protecting myself and my baby. This is for my own peace of mind.” I didn’t want to argue or fight with Drew and if that meant doing everything on my own, so be it.
“All right, what do you plan to do then?”
“That depends. Is this you asking or is it Suzie?”
His cheeks turned red a moment before Gavin’s shoulders fell. “Both.”
Good enough. “I’ve got enough money tucked away for a rainy day which I will use to pay for day care. Once my fellowship is over, it’ll be a lot easier and more affordable when I get back to Alabama.”
“Alabama? You’re going back to Alabama? But why, Zola? Your family is here.”
I smiled. “Your family is here and they’re great but this was never meant to be my permanent home.”
“But it could be. I didn’t plan on staying here forever but then Suzie happened.” The smile that lit his face caused the smallest clench in my chest that I worked hard to ignore. “It could become home for you too.”
“Drew is here.”
“My job is in Alabama, Gavin. And why is the whole damn town so worried about where Drew will be when he doesn’t want anything to do with my child?” The air whooshed out of my lungs and I sighed. “Just be on my side Gavin. Please?”
“I’m always on your side, Zo. Always.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me in for a side hug.
I shook my head. I wanted to believe that but he couldn’t be on my side. Soon he and Suzie would be married and her priority would always be Drew, no matter what she said, which meant that would be Gavin’s priority too. It was how normal, functional families worked. “Be honest, Gavin.”
