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CHAPTER FOUR
‘I’M SO SORRY.’ Daisy hadn’t said much as they drove the sixty miles back to Hawksley Castle but she straightened once Seb turned the Land Rover down the track that led to the castle. ‘I should have planned the visit—gone on my own, maybe. I know you don’t want any fuss.’
Seb slid a gaze her way. She was pale, the red lipstick bitten away. ‘We could just say no.’ We. It felt odd saying the word, like putting on somebody else’s sock.
‘We could.’ Daisy slumped further down into the seat and sighed. ‘But then they’d know something was up. I may have mentioned my dream wedding plans once or twice.’
He’d bet she had, he already knew far too many details about Daisy’s Dream Wedding. Details imparted by eager parents and a grim-faced sister all determined that she should have her Big Day. ‘Tell them I’m allergic to the thought. Cold sweats, clammy hands and hives. Or that small is more romantic and they’re lucky we’re not eloping.’
She didn’t respond and at her silence an unwelcome thought crept into his mind; was he being presumptuous? Starting off this unconventional marriage by trampling over his prospective wife’s wishes. Great start. ‘Unless you want this?’
‘I thought I did.’ Her voice was wistful. ‘But that was before...’
A stab of something that felt uncomfortably like guilt pierced him. She hadn’t sought this out. His carelessness had thrust it upon her—the least he could do was allow her to have her way on this one small thing, even if the thought of all that attention did make his stomach churn, his hands clammy on the steering wheel.
Seb inhaled. To make this work meant compromise on both sides. He needed to start somewhere. ‘We could rearrange. Your house, your church, garden party—the whole shebang if it means that much to you.’
‘Really?’ Her face brightened for one second and then it was gone, as if the spark had never been. ‘No, thank you for offering, I do really appreciate it but it’s fine. That wedding was a dream, a romance. It would feel—’ she hesitated ‘—even more fake if I made you go along with my silly dreams. Here will be much more appropriate. But would you mind, if we did accommodate Mum a little and allow her to help? I’ll keep it under control, I promise.’
‘Of course. This is your wedding and your home.’ The words slid out easily even as his chest constricted. How would this pampered butterfly manage in a place as unwieldy and stately as Hawksley? But what choice did he have? Did either of them have? They had made their bed...
He braked as he slid the car into the parking space and turned to face her. ‘Look, Daisy, I really think this can work. If we’re honest with each other, if we keep communicating.’
She was staring down at her hands, her lashes dark as they shadowed her eyes. ‘You don’t think we are rushing into it?’
Seb couldn’t help the corner of his mouth curving up. ‘Not at all. I believe several of my ancestors only met their spouse on their wedding day. We’ll have had at least two months between meeting and wedding—a shocking amount of time.’
There was no responsive smile. ‘I still think there would be no harm in waiting until after we’ve had a scan and know more. It’s still such early days. I haven’t even been to the doctor’s yet. If we marry and I am just ten weeks along there’s still a chance something could go wrong. We’d be trapped in a marriage neither of us want with no baby! What would we do then?’
She made sense, every word made sense and the sensible side of Seb acknowledged the truth of it, welcomed the truth of it—and yet something in him recoiled.
‘There are no certainties anywhere. If it goes wrong then we mourn. We mourn and regroup. Daisy...’ He reached over and took one of her hands; it lay unresisting in his, the long slender fingers cold. ‘I can’t see into the future and, yes, in some ways you are right. We can wait, for the scan, wait till sixteen weeks or even thirty weeks. Or we can take a leap of faith. That’s what marriage is. Ours is just a bigger leap.’
He thought about it for a moment. ‘Or a shorter one. Our eyes are open after all.’
She looked straight at him, her eyes wide and troubled. ‘I’m only agreeing to an early marriage so my family doesn’t find out I’m pregnant, so they don’t try and talk me out of it. They know how important marriage is to me, how important love is. What about you? Why don’t you want to wait?’
