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“I know. I’m sorry too. I’ve been far from perfect these last couple of years, and you’ve been nothing but good to me since the first time we talked. I never thought I’d have a man like you in my life. You’re better than anything I could have dreamed of.”
The air was so thick between us that I found it hard to breathe, not knowing where this was going.
Hoping.
Praying.
“From the moment I laid my eyes on you, all I’ve ever wanted was to make you happy. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“These last two months, I’ve done a lot of thinking. For the first time in my life, I felt lost without you by my side. I don’t recognize the man I’ve become, Kinley, and I’ve been trying to find him. That man. The one you met. The one you loved. The one who was made for only you. I couldn’t find him, but the more I searched, the harder it was to accept I may never be him again. Because he doesn’t exist without you.”
She leaned in to my touch.
“The truth is I do resent you, Kinley.”
She grimaced, not trying to hide it.
“I didn’t want to admit it to myself, let alone you. Julian found me at the bar this afternoon, and after talking to him, I realized how much I still didn’t understand what you went through—what you were, are going through.
I guess I thought I’d healed you.”
“You did, Christian. I don’t know where I would be without you.”
“We’ve both made mistakes, and I’m ready to stop living in the things we can’t change. If we can’t have kids, then it is what it is. We live another life, maybe get a puppy.”
She choked out a laugh. “You don’t want a baby anymore?”
“I want you. That’s what I want. Now please tell me you’ve changed your mind and we’re not going through with this. Please, baby.”
What happened next could only be described as a moment where God finally heard our prayers.
She declared, “I’m pregnant.”
Chapter 19
Christian
With the wind knocked out of me, I replied, “I’m sorry, what?”
She didn’t hesitate in repeating, “I’m pregnant.”
“With a baby?”
“Yes.” She smiled. “With your baby. Our baby.”
Was I hallucinating?
“Wait, how?”
“Christian, you’re an OB-GYN.” She smirked. “You know how babies are made.”
“Kinley, don’t tease me. When did this happen?”
“The night you came over. I’m not really sure which one of those times it was, considering you were inside me most of the night, but it was definitely that night.”
“Are you sure? How long have you known?”
“I found out this morning when your sister came over and we just started talking. She asked how I was doing, and I told her I felt horrible. I was tired all the time, no appetite, I felt like I was coming down with maybe the flu or something since I’d been sick for the past couple of days.”
“Sick?”
“Yeah, I was throwing up, but I thought it was from stress or that I was coming down with something. I didn’t have a fever. Maybe it was something I ate. When I was telling her all this, she looked at me like I’d suddenly grown five heads, and then out of nowhere she poked my chest, and I yelped.”
My eyes widened, dumbfounded by what she was sharing.
“She asked if I’d taken a pregnancy test, and I laughed, telling her I wasn’t pregnant. Well, you know your sister, she doesn’t take no for an answer. I thought she was crazy to even think I was pregnant, but I still had several tests leftover from when we were trying, so I appeased her and took it for her. The second I peed on it, there was a bright pink line. I thought I was imagining it at first, wanting to see that line for so many years now. But when I showed it to Autumn, she immediately started crying. I swear I drank like a gallon of water and peed on ten more.” She opened her purse, showing me the tests. “They’re all positive.”
Silence.
“Christian, did you hear what I said?”
I nodded.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded again.
“You don’t look like you’re okay.”
I held my finger up in the air. “I’m just trying to process all this.”
“I know. I can’t believe it either. I’m pregnant!”
I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out.
“This is just insane, right? Like of all the times to be pregnant, and find out about it, today of all days? It’s crazy. I can barely believe it.”
“Kinley, I need to check you out.”
“Why? You think it’s a mistak—”
“I just need to make sure everything is okay. We can stop by my office on the way home.”
“Home?”
I looked around the courthouse, remembering where we were. “Fuck.”
Neither one of us said anything for what felt like forever until my lawyer approached us.
“We’re up next,” he informed, and it was like an atomic bomb was dropped on my head.
