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Her gaze stays on me for a moment before she opens the envelope and peeks inside, then pulls the necklace out, the pendant dangling from the chain.
I avert my gaze, hating how my chest literally hurts just looking at that stupid #1 pendant. Wishing I could focus on the fact that he’s such an egotistical asshole he chose the number one as his jersey number. “Yeah, I’ll make sure he gets it back.”
“Thank you.” I exhale loudly and then paste on a smile. “Nothing like getting rid of old memories that just drag you down, am I right?”
“For sure,” she says with a firm nod, shoving the necklace back into the envelope before she drops it into her purse, which is resting on my bed. “Ava, fuck that guy.”
“Right. Okay. Fuck that guy.” I nod and smile, but inside, my heart is cracking. Even when I think it can’t break anymore, he still manages to shatter it into a million pieces.
Completely destroying me.
“Did you have a nice visit with Ellie?”
I come to a stop at the kitchen counter, watching as my mom washes her hands at the sink. “I did,” I tell her back. “She took some of my clothes.”
“Great. You have a lot. I’m sure you won’t miss them.” Mom turns off the faucet and dries her hands before she turns to face me. “She should’ve stayed for dinner.”
“She wanted to get to Jackson.”
“Ah.” Mom nods, understanding written all over her face. “They’re still going strong.”
“Oh yes. I guess he rented a house on the lake for the weekend. They’re having a Halloween party Friday night,” I tell her.
“How fun. Are you going?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Eli might be there.”
“You’re going to let him control your social life?” She crosses her arms in front of her. “That’s not like you.”
“No, I just—I don’t want to run into him.” I didn’t tell her about my most recent “run in” with Eli last weekend, because how do you tell your mom you had sex with your ex in the back seat of his car?
You don’t.
“How about you come with us then? We’re going to Santa Clara Saturday and staying the night, then we’ll be at Ash’s game Sunday afternoon. His team is playing the Niners,” Mom says, her face brightening. “Autumn will be there. The three of us can go shopping Saturday—I bet retail therapy could pull you out of your funk.”
“Mom, I’m cleaning out my room. The last thing I need is retail therapy. I’m trying to get rid of stuff, not add more,” I protest. “And what about Beck and Dad?”
“They’ll be fine. They always find something to do. Come on, you should go with us. It can be like old times. We’ll only be missing Jake,” she says, her smile sad.
She misses Jake something fierce. We don’t see him much and Dad’s coaching schedule at the high school with Beck doesn’t allow them to travel often to make it to Jake’s football games.
“I don’t know…” My voice drifts. That doesn’t sound like much fun. I’m not in the mood to shop. Or listen to my sister ramble on about her great relationship and what a piece of shit Eli is. I’d almost rather stay home and be by myself. That actually sounds really nice. “Maybe?”
“Think about it,” Mom says, never one to push. “Though I understand if you don’t want to go. I will say this though.”
“Say what?”
“Don’t let Eli stop you from going to that party Friday night. If you want to hang out with your friends and let loose and have fun, do it.” She smiles. “If he’s there, be polite and say hello. Then ignore him the rest of the night.”
I can only imagine what he would do if I did that.
“I suppose I could,” I say with a small, sad smile.
“It could also be a great opportunity for you two to sneak away and talk,” Mom says, sounding hopeful.
“Mom.” I sigh. “I’m afraid we’re passed that. I don’t see us getting back together.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I know he’s hurt you, but I never thought it was on purpose. He tends to get a little…wrapped up in his own problems sometimes,” she says.
