AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Well, you’ll see…you know who tonight.”
An exasperated sigh leaves me. “I can handle seeing Eli, Mom. Not like we’re going to talk to each other.”
Mom and Autumn share a look. One I don’t bother trying to decipher.
“Come on,” I say to my sister, nudging her out of the way so I can walk out the front door before her. “Let’s go.”
Autumn follows after me, and we both climb into her Mercedes SUV, taking off without saying much. I keep my hands clutched together in my lap, my mind running through the infinite possibilities of what might happen between Eli and me if we get a chance to talk after the game.
“Mom’s just worried about you,” Autumn says, as if she needs to fill up the silence. “She thinks you’re not over Eli.”
I consider what she said for a few seconds. “I’m not.”
Autumn sends me a quick startled glance. “You should hate him.”
“I sort of do,” I admit. “But I still love him, Autumn. We didn’t have any closure. He just—broke up with me over the phone and that was it.”
“He’s such a dick,” she mutters under her breath, but I don’t acknowledge her, or agree with her either.
Because yes, Eli Bennett is a complete dick.
But he’s also the love of my life. I can’t stop thinking about him.
No matter what I do, or where I’m at, he’s there. Lingering in the back of my mind, reminding me of what we once had.
And what we’ve now lost.
“He doesn’t deserve your love,” Autumn says, her voice stronger. “How he broke up with you was so…awful.”
“My leaving him felt like a betrayal,” I say, trying to understand where he was coming from. If anyone knows how he thinks, it’s me. I’ve been pretty much it for him over these last few years. “In his eyes, I did him wrong.”
“Complete nonsense.”
“Not to him.”
“Why are you defending him?”
“I don’t know,” I say with a shrug, staring out the window at the scenery passing by. “I’m trying to understand why he reacts the way he does.”
“So you’re trying to understand how an asshole behaves?” Autumn retorts. “Don’t bother. We can never understand them.”
“Hasn’t Ash ever done something that’s infuriated you? You guys argue, I know you do,” I say, wanting her to admit that her relationship isn’t perfect. No matter how good it looks to everyone else.
I know my sister. She can be argumentative. We used to have some big fights when we were younger.
“We do, sometimes. It’s better lately. I think we appreciate each other more and make our time together count, since we’re apart a lot,” Autumn says.
“Eli and I used to do the same thing. Until I left him,” I say morosely.
“Please. You temporarily left for an opportunity you couldn’t pass up. What if he got an opportunity like yours? What if he got the chance to do something football-related for the summer that would entail him leaving for three months? You would’ve supported him, no questions asked,” she says.
“I don’t know what I would’ve done,” I say, because it’s the truth. It’s easy for me to say that yes, I totally would’ve supported him, but maybe I would’ve been mad. We would’ve argued. I could’ve asked him to choose football or me, right?
I frown. Maybe not. Football is important to him. I would never make him choose. I would’ve made it work, no matter what.
And that’s what fuels me for the rest of the drive down to Fresno. Knowing that I would’ve supported him no matter what, while he’s over there making rash decisions and deciding my fate for me.
He’s always been impulsive. Emotional. He says things he doesn’t mean, and sometimes, those things are hurtful.
