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“About the deal he made you.” His eyes bore into hers, drinking her in. “When the police named your grandfather as the prime suspect of Klein’s break-in, and everything went crazy in the media, he told me about how he coerced you into staying away from me.”
Abby shook her head. “He was trying to protect you. If I were him, I would’ve done the same thing.”
“Yeah, well, he was wrong,” he said, his voice soft. “Abby, I didn’t give him all the details, but I explained a little bit about what was going on with you and he’s cool. With us, I mean. But even if he weren’t, it wouldn’t stop me from seeing you.”
He reached out, brushing a lock of hair out of her eye, and Abby wanted nothing more than to sink in to his touch.
“I’m only sorry I listened to him,” she whispered. “And I’m sorry I pushed you away. I was afraid of what you’d think. Of me. Of my family. Of—”
He pressed a finger to her lips, silencing her. “He’s not you. I don’t care about the secret. I’ve been worried about you. Do you even have any clue how amazing you are?”
Afraid, she took a step closer, then pressed her forehead to his chest. When he placed his arms around her, drawing her in, she sunk in to him. “What if I’ve changed?”
“You have.”
She pulled back so she could look into his eyes, and he placed his hand on the side of her face. Did he need her touch as much as she needed his?
“Life changes us. Isn’t that what it’s all about? It’s about weathering the storms and coming out battered and bruised but, nevertheless, surviving,” he said.
Abby stared up at this boy. The one with a smile powerful enough to melt her heart. The one who seemingly came out of nowhere and busted through every wall until he tore them all down.
His face broke into a smile at her assessment, clearly seeing something in her expression to convey her thoughts. She should be embarrassed, but she wasn’t. Her heart felt so full it hurt. Full of love for the boy she found in the worst of times. The one who stuck by her, even when she pushed him away.
It occurred to her she may be changed, but she liked this new version of herself even better. The one who made plans with Cammie and her friends on the weekend. The one who talked to her mother about her grief and anxiety. The one who no longer ran from her feelings but toward them. The one who allowed herself to feel, who opened her heart to a boy.
Her world had changed. So did she.
But as long as she remained, she’d keep on changing with it.
EXHAUSTED AFTER AN evening spent with both Cammie and Kaden, Abby settled down into her bed. Glancing around her room, she recognized these days would soon be over. These walls would belong to someone else. And that was okay with her.
She turned to her nightstand and removed GG’s letter from the drawer.
She hadn’t been ready to read it earlier, but as she stared at the sealed envelope, she took a steadying breath and tore it open.
Dear Abigail,
If you’re reading this, then you know our family secret. Not only do you know, but you’ve gone to the proper authorities. You found the proof, as Lawson did, and made an impossible decision. One I couldn’t.
I wrote this, not knowing if you would ever read it. After finishing this letter, I gave it to my lawyer with the instructions he was to keep it separate from the rest and deliver it only if you followed through and revealed the big discovery I made years ago. When asked how he would know, I simply told him he would. The whole world would.
But I owe you an apology. I should’ve had enough faith in you to know you’d do the right thing. Maybe it wasn’t so much that I doubted you as it was that I respected your decision to make your own choice, whatever it may be. Or maybe a part of me felt better at the prospect that I may not be the only one too weak to do what was right in the face of costing our family—myself—so much.
I can only imagine what you are going through. You are likely open to ridicule and speculation, and I can’t imagine living in our community now is easy. Keep in mind, on the hard days, that news travels fast but dies even faster. This, too, shall pass.
I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry. For the burden I put on you. My only hope is you somehow come out stronger for it. I hope and pray you learned something about yourself throughout this journey, so you’re not left empty handed. Remember always that you are who you choose to be. Today, tomorrow, forever. You make your own choices. Only you dictate who you are and the person you become. Don’t let others delineate who you are. Don’t let this event define you. Don’t let your grandfather’s legacy define you.
Your grandfather may not have been the man we all thought he was. He may have been a liar, brutal, and undeserving, but despite the heinous things he did in his past, he was also the man who loved us for so many years. I don’t know how he can be both men, the one who loved his family and the one in charge of destroying them, but he was. I have little advice for how to come to terms with that, except not to be afraid to cling to the good memories. Those were real. Your love for him was valid. You need to remember that the man who laughed with you and loved you was a different man than the brutal killer.
Let the brute pay for his sins and allow the grandfather to stay happy in your memory. Because you are special. And you are loved. No matter how heinous his crimes, his love for you was real.
I love you, my amazing Abby. You are strong beyond words. You are the candle in a dark room. You have done something so many would’ve failed at. And you have an amazing future ahead of you. Forge ahead without fear. Trust. Have faith. Continue to be the light in
a world full of darkness. Be happy, and I will be with you always.
Love,
Your GG.
