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We’ve spent the last few minutes not talking. He’s just been lying there, staring at me. With anyone else, I imagine such a silence would feel supremely uncomfortable. With him, though, I just feel comforted and… not alone. He doesn’t shy away from me looking at him and I rarely get a chance to examine him up close like this.
His face is wide and broad like a boxer’s, but his wide mouth that stretches his whole face and deep brow balance it out. When he smiles, it’s dazzling and when he’s pensive, like now, you still can’t help but stare at his lips.
But I chance looking into his blue, crystalline eyes.
“Will you tell me what happened?”
He immediately glances away.
“Please? Don’t I have a right to know?”
His mouth tenses into a line and maybe that was a low blow but at the same time, I feel like it’s true. I do have a goddamned right. I might be the mother of his freaking child. He just put me through hell for the past four days. And I need for him to start opening up to me.
He’s quiet for so long I think he’s not going to answer me.
But then, finally, with a hard swallow that makes his Adam’s apple bob up and down, he starts speaking. “I was in the Army. A lieutenant stationed at a detention facility at Bagram Air base.”
I’m only partially surprised he’s not bringing up Hellfire. Deep down, I knew this was about so much more than a favored horse.
He stares at the ceiling while he talks and each word seems like a struggle to get out. He has to take a deep breath before finishing. “Men under my command made a mistake that cost a lot of people their lives. It was something I could have prevented if I’d prepared them better.”
What he doesn’t say is clear on his face. He blames himself for the deaths of those people, whoever they were. I hesitate before asking my next question but I don’t know when he’ll be willing to talk so openly again.
“Is that when…?” I reach toward his face but withdraw my hand before he can push it away. “Is that when you got hurt?”
He nods.
I wait for him to give me anything more.
He takes another deep breath and opens his mouth, but just then, the doorbell rings.
He jumps to his feet like his ass is spring loaded.
“That’ll be the doctor.” He’s out the door before I can so much as blink.
Dammit. I sigh, sitting up. Well, I mean, I’m relieved the doctor is here, but God knows how long he’ll clam up now.
It’s only a minute later before Xavier is back, literally dragging the poor doctor into the room by her wrist.
It’s the same woman as before.
She looks both harassed and scared, eyes locked on Xavier’s hulking frame.
“Xavier,” I snap at him.
He looks down at me. In his other hand, he’s carrying a heavy, black, hard-covered suitcase that I imagine is some sort of equipment the doctor brought with her. He sets it down but still has hold of the doc.
“Let her go. You’re freaking her out. She’s here to help us and it’d be nice if she’s not peeing her pants.”
Xavier lets go of her and the doctor looks at me, eyes wide with surprise. As tense as I am about my situation, I can’t help but be amused by the way she’s looking between me and Xavier.
“Yeah.” I shrug. “Things have changed a little since you last saw me. Let’s get this show on the road. Do I need to pee in a cup or something?”
She nods, swinging a black bag off her shoulder. Her hands are shaking. I glare at Xavier but he looks unrepentant.
“Can I set this up?” he asks, fidgeting with the latches on the hard suitcase.
“Don’t touch that,” the doctor says, then her eyes widen and she quickly adds, “Please.”
I roll my eyes.
“Xavier, if you can’t stop scaring the nice lady, I’m going to send you to the other room.”
He levels me with a stare. “Try.”
I smile sweetly at him.
The doctor glances back and forth between us, then shoves a little plastic pee cup in my hand. “If you can just deposit your specimen into this, please, we can get some initial information. I brought the transvaginal ultrasound, but we’ll only do that if there seem to be any problems.”
“Oh goody,” I deadpan.
I take the pee cup and head to the bathroom. “Come with me, sweetie pie,” I call to Xavier. “Let’s let the nice doctor set up her machine without you freaking her the hell out and making her accidentally break something important.”
Xavier glares at her. “She better not.”
“Oh my God.” I get off the bed and grab his bulky upper arm, dragging him to the bathroom with me.
