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It was so stupid to feel that after so many years, but I had no control over my emotions. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if he knew he’d been my first, and he really didn’t owe me anything.
He sure as hell hadn’t known that I’d spent half my high school years halfway in love with him.
We’d been friends, too. Not best friends, but very good ones. We had a lot of shared interests—or we had back then—and his disappearance had hurt more than just my ego.
I’d lost a friend, too.
And of all the things I’d hoped for for Christmas, Nicholas White was not one of them.
Honestly, all I wanted was some peace and quiet. And for the snow to go away.
I bought a hot chocolate from the café stand and took it to the side, away from the hustle and bustle of the square. Although it didn’t officially open until tomorrow, most stalls opened for this evening for the locals and the few tourists who were here early.
There was a sheltered seating area off to the side of the square, and I took my drink over there where the snow wasn’t. The hot chocolate warmed the takeout cup, and my chilled fingers were grateful for the warmth it exuded, and I kept them wrapped tightly around it as I took a seat at the last empty patio table.
Sure, the chair was cold, but that was fine. It just meant my butt matched my heart.
At least my fingers were warm.
I sipped from my cup. I was going to apologize to my sister when I got back to the grotto—no matter how angry I was, it was no reason to talk to her in the manner I had.
Look at me, being all rational.
As for Nicholas…
I sighed. Maybe I was being ridiculous. Whatever had happened between us had clearly all been in my mind, and we really did need a Santa.
Besides, it wasn’t like I did have any other offers.
Not a single person had come to the grotto to offer their services, and I damn well knew that would happen, too. All that was happening was that time was ticking down, and it was ticking down quickly.
My family’s business trumped my feelings.
Damn it.
If only I didn’t need a Santa Claus, this would all be so much easier.
“Got a Santa Claus yet?”
I looked up at Nicholas, inserting a little glare into my gaze. “You know full well I don’t, or you wouldn’t be here.”
“I suspected,” he replied. “Mind if I sit?”
“You’re going to either way.”
“True.” He took the empty chair opposite me and set his own takeout cup down opposite mine. “You look cold.”
“I might have stormed out of the grotto in a huff,” I admitted, reaching up to adjust my hood. “Not my finest hour.”
“Do you want my gloves? I don’t need them.”
“No, it’s fine, thank you.”
“Are you sure?”
“As sure as I am that my underwear is blue,” I replied. “So… Santa.”
Nicholas’s lips tugged up to one side. “Santa.”
“God, I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I rubbed my hand down my face, and the tip of my nose was ice-cold against my very warm palm. “Look, I’m desperate, okay? If you weren’t kidding… I’d really appreciate you stepping in as Santa for us.”
He leaned forward. “Quinn, I wasn’t kidding. And I don’t need to be paid, either.”
“Well, you can take that up with my mother. I’m sure she’ll argue until she’s blue in the face.”
“I’ll do just that. Are you sure?”
“Look, I need a Santa. If I don’t have one, I can’t open the grotto. If I can’t open the grotto, I’m in deep shit.” I dropped my gaze. “And honestly, my mom has enough to deal with right now without me being a bitch about it all. If you’re happy, I suppose I’m happy for you to be my Santa Claus.”
He smiled as he sipped his drink. “Really, I have nothing else to do. I’m happy to do it.”
“All right. Well… thank you, then.”
“You’re welcome, Quinn.” He paused. “I’m glad I ran into you, actually.”
“Really? You’re the only person who is. Ever,” I said dryly. “Don’t let that get around town or people might think I’m sociable.”
Nicholas laughed, shaking his head. “I doubt anyone will think that. Has anyone? Ever?”
“No. I’ve worked very hard to keep it that way, so please don’t ruin it for me.”
“Noted.” He smiled. “About what you said earlier.”
I groaned. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I was pissed off and I wasn’t expecting to see you. You’re right, whatever happened was a long time ago.”
I was still mad about it, but whatever.
“You’re right, but I was wrong to dismiss your feelings, and I’m sorry about that.” He reached over and touched my arm. “Quinn, I am sorry that I disappeared on you like that. I had no idea my parents would haul my ass out of town like that. I can’t say that eighteen-year-old me wouldn’t have taken you there if I’d have known, but I can apologize for what I did.”
