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and I try to go out for tea and noodles
but they only taste like crystallized cobalt-4
and faithlessness.
I feel my suit
all around me. It wants. I want. Cold scrapcode
drifts like snow behind my eyes.
I can’t understand
why no one sees the dinosaur bones
of my exo-self
dwarfing the ramen-slingers
and their steamscalded cheeks.
Maybe I go dancing
Maybe I light incense.
Maybe I fuck, maybe I get fucked.
Nothing is as big inside me
as I am
when I am inside me.
When I am big
I can run so fast
out of my skin
my feet are mighty,
flamecushioned and undeniable.
I salute with my sadgirl/hardgirl/crunchgirl
purplebolt tungsten hands
the size of cars
and Saturn tips a ring.
It hurts to be big
but everyone sees me.
When I am little
when I am just a pretty thing
