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Now that I got him here in front of me, helpless and hurt, there’s no stopping me now.
FOR THE SECOND TIME, I’m staring at my phone and contemplating who the hell to call. Only a few short hours ago, I was wondering the same exact thing, but in completely different circumstances. It feels like a lifetime ago since Ryan attacked me and I strung him up to die.
Once again, I run through my very short list of options. Amelia is out of the question. Mako is a goddamn detective, it’d be laughable to call a cop. I have no other friends or family. No one else to turn to. Except…
Dialing the number before I can change my mind, I repeat history. This time, I’m not sobbing pathetically on my closet floor, naked and afraid. Now I’m freshly showered, still battered but no longer defeated.
“River?! Oh my God, are you okay?” Alison’s frantic voice fills my ear. I smile at her concern. Sweet Alison.
“I’m okay,” I assure. Though being “okay” is subjective, I suppose. Am I okay with doing what I just did? I haven’t figured that out yet. I was at the time, but now that I’m coming down the from adrenaline rush, panic is starting to set in a little.
But did you die, River? No. Can’t say I did.
“Where are you? Did he hurt you? Let me come get you.” She’s nearly hysterical, and I almost forget myself and ask why. While I know Alison endured years of abuse at the hands of Ryan, it didn’t occur to me until now that she might’ve had to fight for her life.
Like I just did.
“How about I come to you?” I suggest instead. I don’t want to spend another minute in this house right now. It’s too loud in here. Sitting alone with my thoughts as I process what the hell I just did will only cause a mental breakdown. I need to decompress and step away from the situation so I can figure out what hell I’m going to do.
She pauses, seemingly thrown off by my tranquility and having the option to leave. When with Ryan, there’s no options. No, no. There’s only listening to instructions.
“Y-yeah,” she stutters, after leaving the question hang a bit too long die to shock.
“I’ll be there soon,” I say, hanging up before she can say or ask anything else. I’ve no idea what the hell I’m going to tell Alison. She’s certainly going to ask questions. Obviously, she’s going to ask a lot of fucking questions. Last time she heard from me, I was sobbing in the phone, pleading for her to come save me.
Stupid, River.
I don’t know what I was thinking.
I don’t need saving. I never did.
Eighteen
River
“I’M SORRY I CALLED you a bitch.”
Alison looks up at me, her brow puckered with confusion. We’re sitting on her guest bed, facing each other and stewing in awkward silence. Neither of us knew what to say. I got out of my car and met her at her front door, quiet and reserved but no worse for wear. I don’t think she knows how to act.
Attempting to escape from Ryan isn’t something you just… walk away from. Maybe limp or crawl, but certainly not walk. And you sure as hell aren’t going to do it as if you’re a model walking down the runway.
; “When did you call me a bitch?”
“In my head.” I pause. “Several times.”
Her lush mouth curves into a smile, and she shakes her head with amusement. “It’s okay, I was defensive over him too, even up until I finally got away.”
I shrug a shoulder, not accepting the out she’s giving me. “You were trying to help, and I convinced myself you were the villain. Worst of all, you repeatedly told me about your own pain with him, and I chose not to believe you. There’s enough victim blaming in this world, and I’m sorry I became one of those people.”
Something like gratitude fills Alison’s eyes. I look away, not knowing how to even process that response. It makes me uncomfortable. This whole situation does, matter of fact. Never in my life have I run to anyone for help—not until Ryan came into my life. I’ve broken the unspoken promise to myself several times. Starting with Mako when Billy nearly killed me, and now with Alison, where I… I can’t think about that right now.
“So, what about Ryan?” she asks, noting my discomfort. “He doesn’t let go easily. The only reason I got away was because he thought me and Mako were sleeping together.”
My world pauses on its axis, and my heart stutters like a stubborn engine finally dying. “You and Mako were sleeping together?”
Her eyes widen and she waves her hands in front of her in a backup motion. “No, no, not at all. Mako helped me get away from Ryan. At one point, I had wanted to… but Mako didn’t return those feelings and I’m honestly glad for it. Being removed from Ryan’s life completely is exactly what I needed to heal.”
