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Simply put, that had never happened to me with a woman.
As the minutes ticked by, I began to feel more and more as if her lack of presence here at the lab, while important, paled in comparison to not having her in my life. I hadn’t been with another woman since she and I first got involved.
Somehow, some way, she’d managed to get under my skin, and now what it felt like to miss her was something very unfamiliar to me.
In fact, the more time that passed from our last discussion until now, the more obvious it became to me that it wasn’t her work here that mattered most.
She did.
I had little doubt that she’d be unwilling to hear me out, that is, unless I could convince her to come back somehow.
It was a difficult proposition.
On the one hand, I needed Fiona’s intelligence and determination to see the project through to its completion and to present the findings to the investors. But on the other, I had to find some way to make my feelings clear to her. By the way we left things, it was obvious I’d done a shitty job of all of it so far.
I literally had no time left to come up with a solution. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, there really was only one option. Just then, I made my way back to my desk, picked up the phone and dialed Holly.
“Yes, Gabe?” she asked, as she answered.
“Holly, please get hold of Mrs. Jameson in Human Resources right away.”
“All right, Gabe. Should I tell her what this is in reference to?”
“Yes, it’s about Fiona.”
“Okay, I’ll take care of it.”
“Thank you my dear.”
Less than a minute later, my intercom crackled to life.
“Yes, Holly?” I answered.
“Mrs. Jameson for you.”
I picked up the phone and began to speak to her.
“Yes, Mr. Hawkins--I understand that you wanted to discuss Fiona Matthews.”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
In the background, I heard the sound of her moving things around on her desk.
“All right then, I’ll just pull up her file and…”
“That won’t be necessary, Mrs. Jameson.” I said, as I interrupted her. “What I have to tell you won’t take long.”
Her attention shifted away from whatever it was she was doing. With focus in her voice, she replied, “Very well, sir.”
As she spoke, I detected an uneasiness in her tone.
“Mrs. Jameson,” I began, as I attempted to calm her fear. “You aren’t to blame for what’s happened to Fiona. I won’t be holding you responsible in any way for the leave of absence, so please don’t worry about it.”
After clearing her throat, Mrs. Jameson replied, “Um, well thank you sir. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s happened to Fiona?”
“I fired her.”
“Oh dear, I see. Well, I… I-I will make the necessary adjustments to her personnel file.”
“No, no… Mrs. Jameson, I just need you to listen to me for a minute.”
“Okay, sir.”
I exhaled and began to explain what happened. “Mrs. Jameson, you see, I fired Fiona in a moment of bad judgment. What I’d like to do is offer her old position back to her and double her salary as compensation for it.”
“Oh… A-All right then, sir. I’ll make a note here in her file. You’ll let me know of course, when she returns so that I can finalize the information.”
“Actually, Mrs. Jameson,” I began, as I leaned back in my chair and raked my hand through my hair. “You’ll be the one contacting Fiona and offering her the old position back with the revised terms as I laid them out.”
After a considerable pause, Mrs. Jameson cleared her throat. “Well, what should I tell her specifically? We may have an issue with wrongful termination here and…”
I waved her off. “Just come up with a workable solution. I’ll leave it to you to decide.”
She nodded. “Yes sir, all right then, Mr. Hawkins, I’ll take care of it right away.”
“Thank you Mrs. Jameson, see that you do.” I replied. “Please let me know the outcome as soon as possible.”
“Yes sir. I will.”
FIONA
With a massive financial crisis looming, I’d spent the better part of the past several days contacting each of my creditors as well as the funeral home, trying to work out some payment arrangements.
No matter what, bankruptcy simply wasn’t an option for me. I promised myself that, no matter what it took, I would see my financial obligations through and find a way to survive in the meantime. Even so, my strength and resolve in dealing with these issues began to take a greater toll on me with each day that passed.
Even worse was the fact I had no way to move out of the apartment my grandmother and I shared. As a result, I lived with a nonstop reminder of the hole her loss created in my life.
