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It’s my body too, she snaps. I live here too. You seem to think that you own it, but it is my turn now. You’ve already seen that I can do what I want.
“If you can do what you want, why haven’t you done it all the time? Because you can’t. Because you know that I can stop you.”
I can feel her coiling and uncoiling with anger in my mind. She knows that what I have said is true. She is trying to think of a way around it.
“Did you hear what I said?” I say. “I’m going to have us both locked away if you don’t help me save Storm.”
What’s in it for me? she demands. Why should I help you? What have you ever done for me?
Nothing. And I can’t and won’t do anything for her. But I cannot tell her that.
Time is ticking away. I pace the bathroom up and down, trying to think. Someone rattles the bathroom door handle. When they find it is locked they bang on it.
“Go away!” I shout.
I need to think. I need them to go away.
The thought that Storm could be out there right now closing in on Sergeant Lowry and completely unaware that an entire werewolf pack is headed his way has me shaking. I should call him again. I should tell him that they are coming for him. But if I do that, he will know that I was involved. He will know that it was me.
I pace frantically. I can’t call Storm. I can’t tell him it was me. Because then I’ll lose him forever. I don’t want to lose him. How am I going to explain to him that there is a little voice in my head that can take over my body? I’m going to sound insane. Why should he believe me? He’ll think I’m murderous and evil. The kind of monster he has devoted his life to hunting down and punishing. And he might be right. Part of me is murderous and evil. And I can’t even keep her under control.
“What do you want?” I demand. “What do you want in exchange for helping me save Storm’s life?”
I want a share of the control of this body, she says.
“Fine,” I grind out through gritted teeth. She already has that. I can’t stop her. Clearly she can take over when I am tired, when I am sleeping, when I am weak. She can take over without my permission, and I can’t stop her. So what loss is it to agree to that? “Fine,” I say again, feeling defeated as I say it.
An equal share.
“Fine.”
“And I need to kill,” she says.
I give a hysterical laugh. I shake my head. “No. Absolutely not. You must be mad.”
Not mad, she says. But I will be if I don’t kill someone soon. That’s what I am. We are the Angel of Death. We need to kill people. It’s a hunger inside us. It needs to be quenched. You may not feel it because you’ve split us in two, but I feel it. And I need it. And you do too.
“Well you’re just going to have to learn to control it.”
She laughs contemptuously. I can’t control it. And neither can you. If you don’t let me do what I need to do my way, then we’re going to do it somehow else. It is going to explode out of us. And you won’t like that. Because then people will find out what we’ve done. And you will lose all of your precious friends. They’ll think you’re a monster.
“I’m not a monster.” I shake my head.
We are a monster. We are the Angel of Death. I have told you a hundred times, and still you refuse to believe it. Why do you think the stupid amulet from your precious Theo didn’t work on us? We are no ordinary being. You’re not possessed. You are me. I am you. If you don’t allow us to work together, then this won’t work at all. I’ll start by helping you save Storm’s life. You know what I am. You know I can do it. I know exactly what to do, but it needs to happen now. There’s no way you’ll be able to save him if he is already closing in on Lowry. Because the pack will be waiting. You need me.
“You can’t. I can’t let you kill people.”
You can’t stop me.
“I can. I can lock us both away.”
You’ll be locking yourself away. You’ll lose all those precious friends that you love so much. You think that they’ll bother to come and visit you? They won’t put you in prison. You haven’t committed a crime yet. They’ll put you in an insane asylum. Just like Dr Carrington wanted to do. How do you think you’ll survive in there? A psychic in an insane asylum? Dreaming the dreams of the mad people. Knowing you’re the reason your beloved Storm is dead when you could have saved him? You will go insane.
I am shaking. She is right. Without this amulet, the dreams will come back. They’re were bad enough already. But if I’m in an insane asylum they will be so much worse. I can’t cope with that. I cannot live through that.
“I can’t let you kill,” I whisper.
I’m not bad really, she says, almost playfully. I found India’s landlord. I got information from him, but I never killed him. And India, does it really matter that I tried to wipe her memory with that amulet? I never harmed her. It’s better than me killing her. And I could have killed her, because she knew about me. She could have
