AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Ally ran off, leaving Collin and me all alone. I let my gaze wander toward him, where I found him staring at me. My stomach jolted again and I pressed a hand against it to chase away the odd feeling. If it were possible for Collin to blush, his cheeks turned the slightest shade of red and he turned away to examine the screen of his laptop sitting open in front of him.
“I think that’s good enough for tonight,” he said, closing the laptop.
I nodded and picked up my guitar to put it away. “Back at it tomorrow?”
“Oh, sorry, I can’t.” He rubbed a hand over his chin and winced. “I have visitation with my dad. He’s taking me to eat at Applebees. Told me he has some big news. I think he finally got that promotion at the garage.”
In all of our time together, Collin hadn’t spoken much about his dad. I knew it was a sore spot, but I couldn’t help but ask him about it.
“Do you see your dad a lot?”
His lips quirked in a smirk. “More, now that he’s out of rehab and working. I didn’t see him for an entire year before that. The courts tried to get him to give up custody of me, but he never would. He promised my mom before she died that he wouldn’t let them take me. So, I guess he’s trying to clean up his act now.”
I set my guitar back down and stared at the ground. That was a lot for me to unpack. I hadn’t realized that Collin had been stuck in such a weird limbo. His father had left, but didn’t want to give him up. And now he was back.
“Do you want to live with him?” I asked, shredding a blade of grass in my hands.
“Yes, and no.” He looked up at the darkening sky. “Tripp and Gina are amazing. They’re my family. But Dad is my blood. He might not have always been there for me growing up, but he’s the guy that shares my DNA. How am I supposed to choose between them?”
It was a good question. One that I didn’t have an answer to.
“I’m not sure. It’s just that I see you here, and you’re thriving. You’re a starting player on the varsity football team, you’re getting good grades, you’re working with me on a song for the centennial event. You’ve got siblings and foster parents who care for you. You seem happy. I can’t imagine you anyplace but here.”
He turned his gaze toward me and frowned. “You’re right. I am happy here. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t be happy with him.”
“True.” I shrugged. “Maybe you just have to figure out what works best for you. Not for your dad.”
He nodded and cleared his throat, his eyes becoming red. “You’re right, but it’s just so hard. Sometimes I feel like I owe him, you know? I mean, they took me away after Mom passed. I wasn’t around when he was struggling with the drinking. Maybe if I’d been there, I could’ve helped him.”
It tore my heart to pieces, seeing him beat himself up. I scooted closer to him, grabbed his hand, and held it tight. “You were a kid, Collin. You couldn’t have done anything. Just like I couldn’t have stopped my parents’
divorce. They make their choices and we’re left dealing with the crappy consequences.”
“Right.” He blinked hard and squeezed my hand. “I just get scared sometimes thinking about how different my life would’ve been. I probably wouldn’t be going to Rock Valley High. Probably wouldn’t have been playing football. And worst of all, I wouldn’t have met you.”
He met my gaze, his eyes dark with emotion. My heart fluttered and I had to force myself to breathe normally. The possibility of never having met Collin was not one I wanted to think about in that moment. In a few short weeks, I’d gone from thinking he was just a jerk to needing him in my life.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “And you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”
“Yeah.” A muscle in his jaw twitched and he looked down at our joined hands. “Me, too.”
Silence fell heavy between us. And as it stretched on, he began to move his thumb in a tantalizingly slow circle on the top of my hand, sending sparks up my skin. I stared at our hands, unblinking. He had no idea how much a tiny touch like that affected me. Warmed me.
“How’s the thing with your dad?” he asked softly, breaking the quiet.
My lips turned down into a sour expression. “He wants to see me, but I still can’t stand the sight of him.”
“He hurt you. It makes sense.”
“He did more than hurt me.” I pushed my curls out of my face with my free hand. “He destroyed our family. Nearly killed my mom. And for what? To marry some woman he’d only known for a year? And now I’m left to pick up the pieces. I just can’t forgive him for that.”
Collin’s thumb continued stroking my hand, soothing the anger that had sparked up inside me. “He doesn’t deserve you. And your mom deserves better.”
“Yes, she really does.” I leaned my shoulder into him, craving more of his support to keep the tears at the corners of my eyes from falling. “She holds it together around us, but I know she’s sad. I hate it. I thought me joining the cheerleading squad would give her something to be happy about, but I don’t know if it’s working anymore.”
He made a disapproving noise. “Is that why you let Savannah treat you like crap?”
“Pretty much.” I closed my eyes against the disappointment. “I don’t know why she hates me. It’s been that way for years. But it’s a small price to pay. My mom was on the cheerleading team when she was in high school. You should hear her talk about it. They were some of her best memories. I want to give those back to her. Make her remember the better times.”
