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“Dude, cancer?” A freshman on the basketball team hit Mason on the shoulder. “Is that for real?”
A few people nearby mumbled with similar curiosity. The air around us changed suddenly, feeling heavy with the weight of gossip. The look in Mason’s eyes as I met his gaze absolutely sunk me. Betrayal mixed with pain almost too much to bear flashed there. I bit my tongue so hard that I tasted blood. What was wrong with me? Why did everything I touch lately crumble to dust?
“I’ve got to go,” Mason grumbled, looking around at the small crowd that had gathered around us. He shot me one last disappointed frown and turned for the door, his hands deep in his hoodie pocket.
I watched him go, realizing too late that I was still wearing his coat. The scent of his
cologne lingered in the air. It was a painful reminder of just how much I’d screwed up. And when Mandy and Audrey finally found me hiding in the foyer of the house, I let my tears loose.
No more holding back.
Chapter Eighteen
“Everyone says he’s dying. He’s so strong. I don’t think I would come to school if I only had days left to live.”
I had to bite back a response as the sophomore girl gossiping about Mason with her friends strolled past me in the cafeteria line. This had officially been the worst day ever. News about Mason’s possible cancer scare had spread faster than wildfire. Everyone was talking about it. It was all my fault. If I’d just kept my big mouth closed, no one would have known.
But as my mom often said, there was no putting the toothpaste back once you squeezed the tube.
I set my lunch tray across from Mandy and Audrey and fell wearily into my seat. They exchanged worried glances as I pushed my puny salad around with my fork. My friends had been there to pick up the pieces Saturday night after the party. They knew how bad this had gotten, but they still didn’t judge me. It was good to know my besties were always there for me.
Even when I’d screwed everything up.
Audrey cleared her throat. “Hey, T. You seen the insta-feed yet this morning?”
I groaned and grabbed my phone from my pocket. “No, what’s the damage?”
“Just the usual,” Mandy said, flashing me her phone screen. “Rock Valley Biz has officially dropped the news on Mason’s cancer scare. They’re telling everyone to come to the big game on Friday to support him in what could be his very last.”
Of course, the nameless face behind our school’s gossip source wasn’t helping the situation. It seemed like things couldn’t get worse.
“Have you guys seen him yet?” I asked, abandoning my salad for a chocolate chip cookie. If there was ever a need for baked goods, it was now. “Did he come to school today?”
The entire day I’d kept an eye out for Mason, but had no luck. All I wanted to do was talk to him. Try to put things right as best I could. And most of all, apologize. If nothing else, I could tell him how truly sorry I was for breaking his trust. It might not give us back our friendship that I so desperately missed, but I owed him that much.
“I’m not sure if he showed up for first period,” Mandy said, slowly unwrapping a protein bar. She was watching me carefully, as if she were afraid I’d break down into tears again at any moment. “Maybe he took a sick day?”
Or maybe he was just avoiding this whole terrible situation. I couldn’t blame him. What had he said in the hospital? That he didn’t like telling people because then they got all weird around him? That’s exactly what had happened. No one was talking about how he was going to slaughter Silver Lake on the court this Friday. Instead, they were obsessed with talking about his illness and taking bets on when he was going to croak.
“Look, why don’t you just text him and ask to meet?” Audrey asked. She fixed me with her big brown eyes, a sympathetic frown on her mouth. “When Collin pulled out of school to go live with his dad, it helped to talk face-to-face. Maybe then you can make Mason understand why you can’t be together.”
“Yeah, and then maybe you can explain it to me,” Mandy added with a shrug. “Because honestly, I still don’t know what’s stopping you two from riding off into the sunset.”
I buried my head in my hands. Even if I wanted to, even if Polly wasn’t in the picture, that ship had sailed long ago. If there had been any chance for us to be together, it had been brutally murdered by my big mouth. Why, oh why couldn’t I keep it shut?
The noise in the cafeteria hit a sudden and noticeable lull, causing me to jerk my head up. It seemed like half of the student body was staring at the doors. My gaze zoomed over to see Mason standing between the doorframes, a teal plastic tray in his hands. His face was guarded, his jaw tense. He hesitated, his gaze sweeping over the crowd, until it settled on me. I held up my hand in a small wave. Maybe, just maybe, Mason didn’t completely hate me.
But the sight of him turning on his heel, ditching the tray, and swiftly exiting the way he’d come squashed that hope. The noise level in the room returned to a loud buzz as tables around us put their heads together to discuss Mason’s illness.
“This is my chance,” I said, biting my lower lip. “I’ve got to talk to him.”
“Good luck,” Mandy and Audrey said in unison.
“And let us know how it goes,” Audrey added.
I picked up my tray and said a hasty goodbye to my friends, following the way he’d gone. It didn’t take long to catch up with him this time. He stood not far from the door, muttering and gesturing to himself. I slowed my pace, not wanting to ambush him.
He looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. The creases around his eyes were deep and his shoulders stooped. My heart ached, wishing I could run over and wrap my arms around him and make everything better.
