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“So. Many. Messages.”
Giggling again, I finally sat at my desk chair and stared down at my freshly painted red nails. “Your mom was the best, huh? You can tell me about her, if you want.”
“Yeah.” He chuckled softly. “She really was. You know, she didn’t want this life for me. She wanted me to feel normal—like a regular kid. We used to go to the beach every Saturday, when she wasn’t filming something. And no matter what, we had to build a sandcastle. That was the law. I guess that was her way of giving me some normalcy. It didn’t matter that I was a teenager or that the last thing I wanted to do then was build some stupid castle that was just going to get washed away an hour later by the tide, she’d make me do it. But we always ended up having the best day.”
I smiled at the carpet while fiddling with the hem of my t-shirt. Building castles on the beach sounded like the most amazing thing in the world. Zane had been lucky to have his mom. Just like I was lucky to have two amazing parents and a stepmom. His dad was another story...
“You know, I’ve never been to a beach,” I said. “I wish I could’ve built a sandcastle with you and your mom. It’s definitely not stupid.”
“I’ll take you some day.” Zane’s voice was quiet, as if he were lying in bed and starting to drift off to sleep. “I promise. After all of this is over and my dad’s finally off my back and you’ve survived Alanis, we’ll go.”
Once again I was struck by how Zane’s promises lacked the hollow sounds I’d come to expect from boys my age. He had a kind of way of talking that made me think he meant them. Soft, sweet happiness swirled around my heart, making it awfully hard to say what I knew I couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Actually, I’m thinking about quitting the job.” Rubbing my thumb and index finger over my brows, I sealed my eyes shut against the shame. “Alanis is a brick wall. She’s never going to give me the time of day. I can’t win with her.”
“You can’t give up. You’re already making progress, I know it.”
Sighing, I tilted my chin up and stared hopelessly at the white popcorn ceiling. “Are you sure? Because any advantage I had was lost today when I blinded the gorgeous lead actor of this new movie they’re making.”
Zane laughed into the phone, which lightened my soul just the tiniest. “First of all, we covered this. I’m fine. And secondly, you think I’m gorgeous?”
I grinned and continued staring silently up at the ceiling, unwilling to expand on that thought. We’d crossed so many lines with this phone call already. Coworkers definitely didn’t talk to each other like this. I didn’t even talk to my guy friends like this.
“I guess we’ll have to return to that point later,” Zane said with humor in his voice when I didn’t answer. “But really, Alanis may seem like a robot, but even she’s made mistakes. I mean, why do you think she even took this film?”
That was something I’d never considered. “Because it’s supposed to be the hottest teen flick of the year...?”
“Maybe. But Alanis is way too talented to put some powder on a bunch of pimply teenagers. Dad told me that she had a drug problem and she messed up at her last job. They fired her. Sent her to rehab. And this is her trying to get back to the top. Everyone messes up. Alanis knows that. She’ll respect you more if you keep moving forward.”
This sudden influx of information had my heart beating like a bass speaker. So that was why Alanis was so uptight about what she put into her body? And why she was holding onto this job so tightly?
“This is all starting to make sense.” I slapped my palm on my forehead. “It’s no wonder she’s such a crab. Thank you.”
Zane laughed. “Actually, I think she’s always been a crab, but it’s probably worse now. You’re going to have to work harder for it, but it sounds like this job is worth it to you.”
I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and thought about it for a second. A few days ago, this had been all that I wanted. Was it still true? Did putting myself through torture at Alanis’ hands seem worth it to break into my dream career?
Yes. The answer was yes. I shouldn’t even have wavered. Anything was worth it.
“You’re right. Call this idea to quit a temporary moment of insanity. I’m going back to the set tomorrow to work my butt off and impress Alanis like no one else has. Thank you for setting me straight, coworker.”
“Anytime.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “And besides, I’ve got an ulterior motive. If you quit, I won’t be able to see you every day and that would be the saddest thing of all.”
Skipping to my bed, I sat down and grinned. “That would be really sad. I’m not sure what you would do without me.”
“Although I’ve got to say...my eyes might last longer if I’m not getting sprayed in the face with glistening goop.”
With a giggle, I fell back onto my bed and sighed. “I guess you’ll just have to take the risk.”
Every beat of my heart measured the comfortable silence we fell into as I stared up at my ceiling fan. Talking with Zane was easy. Sitting in the quiet with him was easy. It was nice just to be in his presence and in his thou
ghts.
But that didn’t feel like enough. I wanted to be able to touch him. To be the one to brush my lips against his and not stop until I was good and dizzy. The thought of it made me bite my lip in frustration. Why did there have to be this space between us?
“Lexi?” Zane asked, his voice as low as a whisper.
“Mmm...yeah?”
