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“That’s terrible.” I stared down at his sweatshirt. “I’m sorry you have to go through that. No one should date someone just because of what they can get out of the other person.”
He captured my hand in his and ran the pad of his thumb over my palm in circles. Then, with slight hesitation, he pulled it toward his mouth and placed a gentle kiss there. My breath hitched in my lungs as he lingered, his lips scorching my skin. This wasn’t what friends did. Not at all. But I didn’t care. Not when I wanted to forget about everything keeping us apart.
“Zane?” I stared helplessly as he laced his fingers between mine. “Why did you come here tonight?”
He blinked up at me with a steady confidence burning in his eyes. “Because I had to get out of that hotel room.”
“Is that all?” I squeezed his hand.
“And...” He grimaced slightly, as if he were afraid of sounding silly. “I really like you, Lexi. And talking on the phone is great and all, but I like being here with you better. Seeing you. Talking with you. Touching you.”
“And...kissing me?” I suggested. He blinked up at me, shock registering in the lines around his mouth. I smiled back, shrugging my shoulders. “Sorry. I’m not very good at subtle.”
He grinned, his gaze flicking to my mouth again. “That’s okay. I like a woman who says and does what she’s thinking.”
My stomach dipped violently and I was done holding back. I scooted my hips closer to him where he lay on the blanket and ran my hand up the sleeve of his hoodie until it rested on his chest. His breathing increased in pace as he watched me.
“Then, tell me if you like this,” I said, looking him briefly in the eyes and then dipping down to press my lips tenderly to his cheek. He inhaled sharply and then his hand found my waist. I worked my own up his chest, over the slight stubble of his jawline, and into the soft hair at the back of his head. With a sigh, I tilted my head to press another kiss to his other cheek. “How’s that?”
“Good. Really good.”
I pulled back slightly. There was just enough light in the backyard to see the dark flushing of Zane’s cheeks where I’d kissed him. He pressed his lips together, his grip on my waist tightening.
“Your turn,” I said, suddenly feeling a blip of nerves in my stomach at the idea of taking the next step.
I never got nervous like this. Not with a boy. But Zane was something altogether different. What he thought actually mattered to me. I was having a hard time holding myself together.
“I like this game,” he said in a whisper, before rolling to his side and moving closer.
His breath was spicy, like cinnamon. He looked intently at my lips and then up at my eyes. Every fiber of my body was paralyzed, waiting for him to make the next move. It felt like an eternity went by as he leaned in, smoldering fire burning in his eyes. His lips pressed softly to the corner of my mouth in a touch so gentle it nearly made my whole body tremble.
“Don’t move,” he whispered hoarsely, pulling back slightly. “It’s still my turn.”
As if I could control anything at all. Not a muscle in my body was responding to the neurons firing in my brain. I was pinned under his gaze, utterly and completely trapped in a blissful state. I wanted him to kiss me again. To repeat the scene from the picnic shelter, but without anyone to interrupt or tell us it was wrong. And from the way he was looking at me, I could tell he wanted that, too. He reached up and dragged his thumb gently across my bottom lip.
“I take back what I said earlier,” he said softly. “You’re definitely trouble. The very best kind of trouble.”
My lips curled at his confession and suddenly, the courage I’d been lacking sprang up again. I closed the space between us and kissed him squarely on the mouth. He made a deep, guttural sound in his throat and then began to move his lips against mine. It was nothing compared to the sweet, withholding kisses of before. Now, I wanted him to be selfish. To take more than he’d let himself before. I wanted more of his cinnamony taste and to feel the soft, giving sensation of his mouth against mine.
It didn’t take long for me to get what I wanted. Zane pressed against me until I was lying back on the blanket with him leaning over me. His hands found my face and he cradled my head as he deepened the kiss. I grabbed handfuls of his sweatshirt, pulling him closer. His warmth covered me, like a comforting blanket.
I loved that he was kissing me like this. With no hesitation, no holds barred. No judging me for the scars I’d hidden for so long. His fingertips slid slowly over the apples of my cheeks, heading south to the curvature of my jawline. He held me like I was precious, like I was someone worth treasuring. If my soul could sing aloud, it would’ve been singing every top 40 love song from the past decade on blast at that moment.
My head began to spin and I couldn’t be sure if that was because of the incredible way he kissed me or if it was because of the lack of oxygen. It seemed like all of my other natural senses had gone on overdrive. Breathing was no longer a necessity. Feeling Zane and his soft, insistent lips against mine was all I needed to survive. But when I did finally manage to inhale, I relished in the scent of his tangy cologne and fresh laundry detergent from his hoodie.
The friction of his fingers against my skin as he traced his fingers down the length of my neck threw gasoline on the fire in my gut. My hands found his and I interlaced our fingers, holding so tight that I thought I was going to break my fingers. He kissed me as if he was never going to get this chance again. I felt his desperation deep in my bones. Whatever this was, it wasn’t meant to last. Even the friendship we’d agreed to had a sort of expiration date. But I couldn’t think about that. Not now. Not when he was kissing me like this. So I gave myself over to my feelings, erasing any lingering doubts or sadness, giving myself only permission to enjoy the moment.
And when Zane finally pulled away, my chest was heaving as if I’d just ran a marathon—which wasn’t something I would’ve done unless being chased by a tiger. He plopped down on the blanket beside me, looking up at the stars above. I blinked, my vision blurry.
It was no wonder why I’d been so caught up on Zane Rees. He wasn’t just any boy. He was a boy who knew how to make me so completely dizzy that I couldn’t hardly catch my breath. It was a wonderful feeling. One that I wouldn’t mind repeating again and again.
“Okay, so that wasn’t what I had planned for tonight,” he said with a chuckle.
I turned my head to grin at him. “Oh, yeah? Not even a tiny part of you thought that was going to happen?”
He smiled guiltily and rubbed his eyes. “Maybe a little part. But I’m a guy. We always go there. We can’t help it.”
I laughed and glanced over at the TV still blinking distantly through the sliding door. It was a relief to see the back of my dad’s head still perched on the couch. It would’ve been extremely embarrassing to get caught out here making out with a boy. I was pretty sure Dad still thought I was his little girl with bows in my hair and a baby doll for a best friend.
