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And then she ran away as fast as she could.
Pretty sure that’s a sign that she hates me.
Am I crazy?
I did a double take on the computer screen, my insides squirming with excitement. He did mean me! I was the sexy and crazy smart girl he’d been talking about. I felt so pleased that it was as if my feet were floating five inches about the carpet. No one had ever called me that. Gabriel liked me. Me!
But it didn’t take long for that elation to be replaced by a guilty sort of misery, bringing me back down to the ground hard. I reread Gabriel’s words over and over again, imprinting them like scars on my soul. I’d been so worried about myself since our date at the ice rink that I hadn’t even stopped to consider what my running out had done to Gabriel. He thought I hated him. He shouldn’t have been so hard on himself. None of this was his fault. It was my own stupid hang-ups causing all the issues.
“Told you!” Lexi pointed at the screen and laughed maniacally. “Can I call them, or what? He totally likes you.”
I looked up at both of them, my eyes wide. “He really does?”
Charlotte rubbed a hand across my back. “Looks like it. And how does that make you feel?”
I could sense the tone beneath her question. They were both looking for something more than a quick okay or fine, like I would’ve normally given them. How did this make me feel? Only a couple weeks ago, I’d been convinced that Gabriel was as terrible as his brother. Since then, so much had changed. He wasn’t terrible. He was kind and sweet and attracted to me, for whatever reason. He made me feel...wanted. In a way I’d never felt before. And I couldn’t push off this feeling I got whenever we were together. It was a magnetic desire. One that had me rethinking all of my previous conceptions.
Gabriel liked me.
It wasn’t just a fake kiss.
He really had wanted me.
And I wanted him.
It was like someone had turned on full force the water faucet to my feelings for Gabriel. They hit me all at once, like a tidal wave of ooey gooey sensations that I would’ve died
before ever confessing to. I liked Gabriel. I really did. And I wanted to kiss him again.
I felt like I could fly. Or dance. Or scream with happiness. That was, until I looked at the clock and realized we had two minutes left until game time.
And I was reminded what this game meant to our relationship.
“I feel...” Swallowing hard, I stared at the screen. “I feel like I’m going to have to drop out of this competition.”
Lexi’s jaw dropped and Charlotte nearly fell from where she leaned on the desk. They both stood up straight, demanding that I explain myself. Honestly, until the words had left my mouth, I hadn’t understood their implications. But now, everything was starting to fall together in one warped, horrible version of an expert level first player shoot-out. There was nowhere left to go. Only me and the bots I’d created to destroy myself.
“Think about it.” I began pacing again, the warm bubbly feelings inside my chest fighting with the sense of dread I got every time I looked at the screen. “If I fight the final battle, I’m going to have to reveal my identity. Gabriel will know that I’m CurrerBFighting. And then, he’ll realize that I manipulated him into confessing that he liked me.”
“Maybe he won’t care,” Charlotte offered.
I shot her a harsh look. “Doubt it. Can you imagine if I’d found out Gabriel was pumping me for information online? I’d never trust him again. Maybe he would’ve forgiven me before now—if I’d confessed that it was me on the other side of the computer. But now, he’s going to know that I used him to get information out of him. He’s going to think I played him, not only for the tournament, but also with his feelings.”
“No that’s ridicu—” Lexi’s face fell as she began to understand. “Oh, no. You’re right. I didn’t think this far ahead.”
“But you can’t give up the tournament. You can’t give up being the first girl at Rock Valley to win. It’s your dream.” Charlotte looked about ready to cry.
I paced the room some more, the seconds ticking down until the battle began. My head was swirling with accusations and pleading. I couldn’t believe I’d let this catfishing thing get so out of hand. All I’d wanted was to prove myself. And maybe get a little justice on the side. Now, either way I went, I lost out on something. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I wasn’t the one who was supposed to lose.
“Beth, you don’t have to make a decision today.” Lexi rolled my chair back in front of the keyboard and nodded at it. “Fight this battle. Make it into the finals. And then, you can decide what you’re going to do.”
Relief washed over me. She was right. I could battle today. It was the last round that mattered. The round that I finally had to show my face. That cleared a bit of the noise going on inside of my head. With a grateful nod at her, I took my seat and looked up at the clock. Fifteen seconds to battle. That was all the time I had left to give to worrying. After that, it was all about the game.
My hands hesitated over the keyboard for a second, before I typed a quick reply to my partner.
CurrerBFighting: I’m sure she doesn’t hate you.
Maybe this girl just needs some time to figure out what she feels.
