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Giving Noah one last look, I took a deep breath and followed him.
Inside the bedroom, I briefly looked around and noticed that the bedroom had all the essentials – bed, dresser, bedside table – but like the rest of the apartment lacked any true touch from this man. He had obviously only just moved in and had made no effort to infuse the space with his personality as yet.
I turned to him and saw that he had pushed the door to almost closing. He left a small space that allowed us to hear if Noah needed us but also afforded us a small amount of privacy.
There was more heavy silence until he finally broke it.
“What the fuck Hailey? Why? Why did you keep this from me? You had no right. Absolutely no right.”
His words seemed hurt and I swallowed, pushing back the sudden prick of tears. His anger I expected and kind of understood. His sorrow was unanticipated and worse than I imagined.
I couldn’t stand to hurt Wyatt. Not back then and not now. Knowing I did so was being stabbed a knife through my heart. This was all my fault.
My voice was croaked when I spoke for the first time.
“I was going to tell you. Please believe I never meant for so much time to pass before I did. I screwed up,” I said.
His jaw ticked and his anger exploded in venomous hisses that left no traces of the hurt I thought I saw.
“When Hailey? When he was in his twenties and I had completely missed all the important moments in watching him grow up? What the fuck did you think you were accomplishing by keeping my own flesh and blood from me? Think long and hard before you answer me because your answer had better be fucking good or God help you,” he whisper-shouted.
His tone was grating and instantly my hackles rose, a natural defense mechanism I had developed over the years. Heartbreak and motherhood had taught me to toughen up or life would have swallowed me whole and spit out an emotional mess by now.
“Don’t you dare think you can threaten me Wyatt Murphy! I know I was wrong, but you won’t do this,” I returned in an irate whisper.
Our son laid only a few feet away and I had no desire to have him awake to two screaming adults. Wyatt must have had the same idea because his tone remained subdued despite the heat in it.
“Threaten you? Oh no, honey, that was a promise.”
Shit. I probably deserved that too.
He was understandably furious. I couldn’t deny I would have felt the same way if the roles were reversed.
Besides that, it wouldn’t help the already turbulent situation if I lost my cool so I controlled my tone to one which was even and more patient after a few deep breaths.
“When we talked last night, I told you I had something to tell you. This was it. I never meant to keep this from you for so long. I swear to you I didn’t. The fact that I had you as the emergency contact on Noah’s daycare sheet should tell you as much.”
“You expect me to believe that when you lied to me for so long!”
“I never lied to you!” My tone rose along with his but went right back down when I repeated the words, adamant because they were true.
“You lied by omission, Hailey. No matter how you spin it, you kept something from me that I had every right to know.”
“When was I supposed to tell you, Wyatt? You weren’t exactly around,” I responded, gesturing with my hands to solidify my point. “When I found out about the pregnancy, you were already gone and you had been in such a dark place after your father’s death, I honestly didn’t think this was something you would be able to handle. I didn’t know how to break through your walls and I wasn’t going to bring my child up in a broken home with a father that popped in and out of his life.”
“You had no right to make that decision for me. I am his father. I needed to know that I had bought a child into this world,” he said, his hand gestures just has furious as mine.
“You’re right.” I could see that he was taken aback at my agreement and added, “I see that now. I should have tried harder to make you a part of his life and my decision not to is something that I will always have to deal with. I can’t change the past but I am willing to work with you to make the future better for everyone involved here. I am ready to do right by both you and Noah so I am begging you that we try to move past this and focus on what is best for him.”
“And that is knowing his father loves him and is willing to die to protect him,” Wyatt said. “I should tell him. He has the right to know just like I did.”
I panicked and closed the distance between us with haste. I grabbed a hold of Wyatt’s arms and tugged.
“Have you told him? Please, tell me you didn’t, Wyatt. Not like this. Not without me,” I cried.
“Of course I didn’t. I am still a stranger to him. I’m not going to just spring it on the poor kid,” he replied, pulling away from my touch like he couldn’t stand it.
I breathed a sigh of relief, my body sagging with the feeling. I refused to focus of the aching disappointment of having him visibly pull away from me.
