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“Just go,” I repeated. “If you’re so happy to be leaving, then leave. You don’t have to stick around and rub my face in it.”
Logan looked at me like I had slapped him.
I couldn’t believe he would be so heartless as to smile through our breakup. How could he tell me he was leaving and not even act a little sad?
“Piper,” he began. “What the hell is wrong? Where is this coming from?”
“You’re leaving me and you’re happy about it,” I blurted out. Tears were forming in my eyes and I couldn’t stop them from overflowing.
“Is that what you think?” Logan laughed weakly. He slid closer to me and held both of my hands in his. “Piper, I’m not leaving you.”
“So, you aren’t going to Coronado?” I asked.
“No, I am,” he nodded. “But that doesn’t mean we have to be over.”
“What does it mean then?” I asked.
“Well,” he began. I could see the wheels in his head turning as he tried to work through his thoughts.
“You haven’t even thought about it, have you?” I asked, the pain evident in my voice.
“I just found out this morning, Piper,” he said defensively. “I haven’t had time to work everything out yet.”
“There’s nothing to work out,” I said weakly. I turned my head and took a giant swig of my drink. I stared down at the table angrily and tried to keep more tears from falling.
“What does that mean?” he asked. His voice sounded so small, so unlike Logan, that I looked up in surprise. He was staring at me, his eyes searching mine. I didn’t have an answer to his question. All I knew was that my heart was breaking and I couldn’t make it stop.
“It means,” I began. “You didn’t even stop to think about what this would mean for our future. Which tells me we don’t have one.”
“Piper,” Logan said, his words pleading for resolution.
“There’s nothing else to say,” I said quickly, not wanting to drag out the conversation any more than we already had. A quick goodbye would be best for both of us.
“I’m sorry,” he said. His head sagged and he stared down his hands which were once again wrapped tightly around mine. I watched him and waited for him to say something else.
Anything else.
But he didn’t.
When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I pulled my hands free and stood up.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“What’s the point in hanging around any longer?” I asked. Every part of me was aching.
“To say goodbye,” he suggested. “We won’t see each other for a long time and…”
“It all ends just the same,” I said, cutting him off. “Whether I sit here with you for another three hours or not for another second, nothing will change. You’ll still leave and I’ll still be here.”
“Piper…”
I turned and left without looking back. I thought he would stand up and follow me outside, tell me he loved me or ask me to wait for him. Something. Anything at all.
When I pushed the door open and stepped out into the parking lot I knew I was hoping for nothing. The cool evening breeze hit my face and quickly dried the tears that were still on my cheeks.
Despite the pain that accompanied that memory, it still wasn’t the worst I’d felt. The worst pain came later. After Logan left town. After I realized he wasn’t going to try to see me before he did. After I realized that night in Kellan’s was our last night together. After I had spent hours crying myself to sleep and wishing, more than anything, that I’d stayed in that booth just a little longer.
Ten
