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I turned to leave, when I felt her fingers brush against my arm. I looked up at her. Her eyes were watching me the same way they did that morning all those years ago. The morning Audra and I told her. She looked at me with concern and a motherly intuition I recognized all too well.
I waited for her to speak. She didn’t. She simply looked at me with so much understanding it made my eyes fill with tears. I stepped closer to her. She wrapped her arms around me and held me against her chest. I breathed in the familiar smell of her perfume and let myself relax for the first time since I arrived in Bradberry. Of all the things I missed, I didn’t realize how much I needed this.
When she let me go I wiped my eyes and left the bar without saying goodbye. Audra and Jack took the car and I didn’t want to wait for my mother, so I decided to walk home. It wasn’t far, just a couple miles, and it would give me a chance to clear my head before I saw the rest of the family. Especially Lilliana.
Eleven
Logan
I drove home from the wake with my head spinning. When I pulled into my driveway, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit still for long. Without going inside, I walked down the driveway and back into town. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew I needed to move.
Seeing Piper didn’t go how I planned, but that wasn’t what was weighing on my mind. Piper running out of the pub left me feeling sad, but I could understand her desire to get away. Audra’s words were what made me rethink everything I thought I knew.
“I know it may have not seemed like anything to you, but what you and Piper had meant everything to her. You broke her heart.”
As I walked through town, I replayed my entire relationship with Piper. I remembered our conversations, our late nights together, all the time we spent talking about our hopes and dreams for the future. Back then, I thought we were on the same page. I thought Piper understood me better than anyone ever had or ever could.
Nothing could have been further from the truth. That much was obvious. What didn’t make sense is how I could have been so wrong, how I could have misconstrued the entire thing for the past five years. That last night in Kellan’s was so long ago, but it stood out vividly in my mind. She was angry at first. Sad. But, so was I. I explained why I had to leave and I thought she understood. I apologized. And she walked away. I could still see her curls disappearing through the front door and out into the parking lot. I remembered wanting to chase after her, but not knowing what I would say. She just needed time, I told myself. We would find our way back to each other. Surely, she felt that way, too?
Or did she? Was I just deluding myself all these years? Had my decision to leave destroyed all the feelings Pipers had for me? Had she spent the past five years hating me for choosing the SEALs over her?
Damn. I felt weaker than I had in months as these questions and memories overwhelmed me. My head was pounding as Audra’s words echoed in my mind. My arms and legs felt like jelly. My eyes and chest were heavy with crushing anxiety. I walked faster.
I walked the perimeter around the town square three times, just trying to work through my emotions, before I decided to sit down for a few minutes. Not five minutes after I found a bench, Piper crossed the street right in front of me. She was moving quickly, her hips swaying slightly. I could see every curve of her body beneath her tight dress. Her dark hair caught the light perfectly. It was captivating. I was on my feet instantly.
“Piper!” I called, hurrying over to her. She glanced behind her and I saw her deflate when she realized it was me who was calling out to her. She slowed down, but didn’t stop. I jogged until I could fall into step beside her. She crossed her arms protectively over her chest and raised her chin. Her eyes remained focused in front of her. The expression on her face was one I knew all too well. She wore that same look every time we argued. Whenever I said something stupid or upset her in some way, she would cross her arms, raise her chin, square her shoulders, and glare into the distance.
“Logan,” Piper said with the tiniest of nods.
“I was going to say hi at the wake, but you ran out of there pretty fast,” I said. I studied her face, waiting to see a reaction I recognized.
“Yeah, it was getting crowded back there,” Piper said without emotion.
“Well, it’s good to see you,” I said tentatively. “I’m sorry about your uncle.”
“Thank you.” Piper’s voice was cold and I all I wanted to do was crack the ice and see the real her again.
“How are your parents taking it?” I asked.
“They’re fine,” she said. “Sad. Like all of us.”
“Well, the wake was nice,” I said. “They did a great job. I’m sure Jeff would have loved it.”
“You didn’t even know him.”
“No, but I knew of him,” I reminded her. “You told me stories about your whole family, remember?”
“That was a long time ago, Logan,” she said. “Things have changed.”
“Like what?” I asked. There was a desperation in my voice I knew she could hear. Piper always knew me better than I knew myself.
“Everything,” she sighed. “Everything has changed.”
I walked beside her in silence. There were so many things I wanted to say, but none of them felt important enough. I glanced over at her every few seconds, hoping to catch her looking at me, but she never did. Her blue eyes were sparkling in the sunlight and she looked angrier than I’d ever seen her. Shit, the was going to harder than I thought.
It amazed me how someone could be so angry and so beautiful at the same time. Even when she wouldn’t look at me. Even when I could tell she wanted nothing more than to be rid of me, she was the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen.
“Not everything. You’re still just as beautiful as ever,” I said softly. Piper flinched and I immediately regretted my words. “I’m sorry.”
