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“I mean I guess I'm just not ready for how serious you are. I need a little bit more fun in my life.”
So I wasn't fun?
I sighed. “Not that this isn’t great information and everything but I think it's time for the check.”
Minutes later I was busting out the doors of that restaurant. I tried to seem inconspicuous as I was leaving but on my way out I had run directly into a waiter and had spilled water all over myself and the floor. Today was not my day.
As I attempted to hail a taxi my phone started ringing. I looked down, it was my older sister Audra. I wanted to press ignore but it was the third time she called me today so I knew that I needed to answer or she would just keep calling.
“What the hell have you been doing all day? Besides ignoring my calls?”
“Hi Audra. How are you? Wonderful? Great because I'm just peachy.” The sarcasm dripped off my words.
A taxi pulled up in front of me and I got in. “642 56th Street please.”
“Are you in a cab?”
“Yes. What does it matter?”
“Oh shit, were you on another breakup luncheon? I swear last time this happened I told you the next guy that asks you out to lunch, refuse.”
I guess it was becoming a bit of a pattern. “And what? I’m just supposed to drag out a relationship with some guy who doesn't like me?”
“Piper, I hate to tell you this but I don't think there are any guys who like you in New York anymore. So, if you can snag one that has a good job and a 401(k) you should just let it drag out as long as possible. Hopefully all the way down the aisle.”
“You sound like Mom.”
“Well you've got to start listening to someone. I swear to God I'm going to be dead before you finally meet a man.”
“You're so lovely at this time of day. Or actually any time of day.” More sarcasm, I was on a roll.
“Speaking of death, we need to talk about Uncle Jeff's funeral.”
This is why I had been avoiding her calls all day. There was no way in hell I was going back to Bradberry for some ridiculous family reunion and the sad funeral of my Uncle Jeff. Who I hadn't seen in at least a decade.
“I'm not talking about Uncle Jeff's funeral. I already told you I have to work.”
“Well that's hilarious because I called Ian and he told me that he could clear your schedule for all of next week. I expect you to be here tomorrow.”
Ian, that Queen. He was on my shit list now.
“I can't just pick up and be there tomorrow. That’s not how it works here, I have clients and appointments…”
She interrupted me, “Ian has cleared all of that for you. By the way he says he is very sorry for your loss.”
I sighed. “You're not giving up, are you?”
“You missed Christmas. Mom and Dad are pissed as hell at you and no one wants to talk about you because they think you're sad and lonely. Now I know that you are sad and lonely but I still want to see my baby sister, so come home. Pack a bag and get in the car tomorrow. Is that clear?”
I hated the way she bossed me around but she was right. I hadn't gone home for Christmas because a friend surprised me with tickets to the Rockettes on Christmas Eve. I had never been even though I'd lived in New York for five years. It was an opportunity I didn’t want to pass up. The story of my life.
“Fine. I'm coming. But don't expect me to be all excited about it. And I want my own room, I'm not paying to stay at some rinky-dink hotel up there for a week. Mom and Dad have plenty of space and they can put me up. Or even better, you can.”
“Nope. We’re already full, you're definitely staying with Mom and Dad. And the best part is Aunt Miriam is staying with them too.”
“Great. So, I can get the judgment from all sides.”
“Always.”
