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I busied myself with work until I left at sundown. I finally stopped crying, but I was still confused and angry. Sad, too; because I felt like Tristan did not want me anymore. I understood. I’ve strung him along, and he doesn’t need that. Not after what his ex did to him.
***
Once I got home, I called Ivy, knowing she would have something helpful to say.
“Hey, I was just about to call you.” She sounded so happy. I did not want to dampen her mood with my shit.
“Really? I was wondering if you want to come over for dinner.” I was never good at hiding my feelings.
“Sure. But what’s wrong?” She asked me.
“Nothing. Honest. I’ll see you soon.”
I hung up before she could pry. I took a quick shower and got dressed in a soft pair of leggings and a large tee shirt. I officially looked like a relationship just ended, even though it wasn’t really a relationship.
The feelings were real though. I burned for him, and ached. I have dreamed of him every night since that ball. I’m sure I would tonight to. He just drew me in with his charisma, honesty, and good looks of course. He’s been hurt and he deserved real…he deserved something good. I definitely wasn’t giving that to him.
Ivy knocked rapidly, pulling me from my cloud of thoughts.
I opened up and she was complete with two boxes of pan pizza. She can read my mind, it’s proven.
“Hey, how was your day?” I reigned my best smile but she was still eyeing me.
“Great… yours?”
I shrugged.
“I met with the bride and groom, from that wedding. They liked my plans.”
“Oh, that’s good! When is the wedding?”
She got plates and cups out, I helped myself to three slices and a full cup of iced sprite.
“Weekend after next. The rehearsal dinner is this weekend. They said I could bring someone, so you want to come?” She shot me a look as she sat with me on the couch.
“Sure, but you have to tell me what’s going on.”
I sighed, I guessed I should start from the beginning, so I did.
“How could I have missed all of this in a week?” She exclaimed
I just shrugged. I never told her about seeing him again because I thought it would make it too real. But she had been busy this week anyway, so I hadn’t actually seen her.
“But when I saw him today we had sex again, despite what I said. I could not resist him…but he left angry. With good reason. He doesn’t want to get played again. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well it’s obvious you like him. So, you should consider his feelings, you don’t know what you want so don’t go to him again until you do.” She really was the voice of reason.
“I know. But I know I want to be professional though, but I want him too. And I don’t want to choose.” She nodded, understanding as she thought more.
“But this wedding won’t last forever? What about after?”
That would be ideal. But I still had to stay focused. On getting a new shop, getting my funding for it. Growing my client base. I still had Sasha. But she could not float me forever. And I had my walk-ins. But I could have even more if I was in a better part of town. There was too much to do that could not involve the natural distraction a relationship would bring.
“No but I still have to stay focused.”
“But you like him. He won’t stick around forever.”
I nodded in agreement. He wouldn’t.
