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The darkness pressed down around me. I forced myself to focus. This mission was too important to fail. There was too much at stake, for me and for my team. I knew I couldn’t let them down. I took a deep breath and remembered my training. The fear disappeared from my body. My breathing relaxed and my heartbeat steadied. I took a confident step forward. I knew what I had to do.
I walked for half a mile before I heard the shot. My heart stopped beating as I whirled around to face the direction it came from. I heard the shot on my left where I knew Young was moving in the same direction as me. No one knew where we were. There shouldn’t be any gunfire. This wasn’t that kind of mission.
It took a fraction of a second, just long enough for me to question breaking my orders, before the second shot echoed around me. Then the third.
My orders were clear: if the mission is compromised, locate your team and return to camp. Without a second thought, I took off running through the darkness. My legs moved smoothly beneath me. I felt like a wild animal bounding through the forest. The only noise I made was the rustle of my pants. I moved faster than I’ve ever moved in my life. Nothing and no one would stop me.
I closed the distance in less than a minute.
My gun was raised.
I saw him immediately, but he hadn’t seen me yet.
I didn’t hesitate.
I fired.
He collapsed.
I spun around, checking for more, but everything seemed calm. My eyes were peeled as I moved slowly, trying to find Young. My instinct was to call out to him, but my training forced me to hold my tongue. Whatever happened, I couldn’t risk giving away my location.
Every noise I heard made my body tense. I felt like there were a million eyes on me. I expected to be shot each time my feet shifted, but there was no other person in sight. I hadn’t heard gunshots in almost five minutes. I knew the rest of the team would be converging on me soon. I was the closest to Young’s path, but McCullers and Hansen weren’t far either. They would be here any second and I still hadn’t located Young.
“If the mission is compromised, locate your team and return to camp.”
Our orders were clear. I had to locate Young before McCullers and Hansen arrived so we could all get the hell out of dodge. We had to leave together, as a team.
My eyes scanned the ground around me, searching for any sign of Young. I looked for blood or scattered gear. Anything that may lead me to his location, but there was nothing. Nothing at all.
I was frustrated as I continued my search. I needed to find him fast. I’d already been here, exposed, for far too long. Where were McCullers and Hansen? Why weren’t they there yet? Had they been hit, too?
As soon as their names entered my mind, they appeared beside me. I breathed a sigh of relief and moved closer to them. We spoke in hushed whispers, our eyes constantly looking around.
“Found anything?” McCullers asked.
“Killed one. Still looking for Young.”
“Split up?” Hansen suggested.
“No,” McCullers shook his head hard. “Stick together. Let’s find him. We’re dark and I don’t like not having coms on.”
We moved deeper into the woods, our guns raised and our eyes darting. I strained my ears for any sounds that may help us find Young, but there was nothing. Everything was silent except for our soft footsteps as we inched through the woods.
Finally, we heard a scuffle a few yards to our right. I raised my gun higher and crept forward with McCullers and Hansen on either side of me. I was sure the noise meant Young was close by, but we had t
o move slowly. We had to be careful in case it wasn’t him.
The closer we got, the quieter everything became. We couldn’t hear the scuffling anymore. We couldn’t hear anything at all.
When I saw the blood at my feet I knew the worst had happened. I raised my eyes and saw him lying with his back against a tree trunk. McCullers sucked in a ragged breath and Hansen turned around aiming, I ran to him. My whole body lurched forward and I threw my gun to the ground. All of my training was forgotten in that one moment. All I could think about was reaching him.
I grabbed him and pulled him against my chest. My fingers searched frantically for a pulse, but it was too late. He was already gone…
…I sat up quickly, my heart racing and sweat pouring down my face. I tried to slow my breathing, but I couldn’t shake the image of Young lying dead against that tree.
It had been four months since our mission failed, but not a day went by where I didn’t think about Young and wish I had done more. After weeks of counseling and conversations with my superiors, I knew there was nothing I could have done. I acted perfectly. I followed every protocol. I did everything I was supposed to.
