AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I took a deep breath, rose from my seat, and entered the office. It too, felt cold and unwelcoming, just like the waiting area.
My handler’s face lacked its usual friendliness. Although his act of optimism had annoyed me the last time I’d been in his presence, I now wished he would keep up the charade; it would have made the situation feel a little more tolerable. But then again, I didn’t deserve such comforts.
“Take a seat,” Jared instructed.
We sat down opposite of one another at the table, and proceeded to stare at each other for what felt like an eternity. Finally, Jared broke the silence.
“Look Colt—you’ve always been one of my best, so I really don’t know what to make of this. Can you tell me what happened?”
Another long silence occurred as I sat there, trying to put into words what I needed to say. Unfortunately, my mind was suddenly drawing a blank. Just moments ago, I had been prepared to tell the truth and face the consequences, hoping Jared would have mercy on me. I had planned to confess that I had indeed gotten a little too close to Natalie Finley, and that my professional judgment had momentarily been hindered as a result. I wanted to tell him that nevertheless, I still took my job seriously and didn’t want to be cut from the team—that I was invested in Speaker Finley’s safety, and that from now on, it was all I would focus on.
Jones could remain on Natalie’s detail, as long as she was safe.
But as I sat across from my handler, none of those words seemed capable of leaving my mouth. All I could think about was the night I’d spent with Natalie at the pool, the last time we had sex, and that fateful day in the library when I not only confessed my feelings to her, but had even acted on those feelings right on the spot.
I thought about the first time we’d met, all the way back in Turkey…
How last night, she had looked me right in the eyes and told me that she loved me, and how like an asshole, I hadn’t even responded.
Jared cleared his throat, clearly not in the mood to be on the other end of the waiting game.
I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. “I guess you can say some things went wrong during my assignment at the safehouse with Natalie Finley. She would now feel more comfortable if someone else was placed on her detail. I think her wishes should be granted.”
“Something went wrong like what?” Jared asked.
I swallowed. “I think there was some confusion about…about the nature of…the work I was doing for her.”
“I’ve also heard there was some confusion about the shifts between you and Jones. Can you tell me why Jones informed me that the two of you had occasionally been switching locations, after I clearly stated you were to stay with Speaker Finley? Jones stated that he was under the impression that you had been given official word that such switches were to occur. But that’s funny—because I certainly never gave any orders on such a thing. So where did you get these orders from, Mr. Jackson? And don’t tell me Speaker Finley put you up to it. Speaker Finley is not your handler.”
I lowered my head, ashamed. “It was my idea, sir. I told Speaker Finley that I could switch with Jones to check on Natalie from time-to-time.”
“Do you have any idea how irresponsible that was of you?”
“I do. And I’m sorry.”
“I’m afraid sorry isn’t going to cut it. Not only did you disobey orders, but you blatantly lied on the job to cover your tracks. And based on reports I’ve heard from people who have spotted you in the presence of Natalie—or should I say the way you behaved with Natalie—I have reason to believe that your lies had nothing to do with the seriousness of your job, did it?” When I didn’t answer, he narrowed his eyes at me. “If you do not speak up, I will have no choice but to take your silence as a sign of your confession.”
I nodded. “Yes, sir.”
Jared sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Unbelievable. I really cannot express how disappointed I am in you right now, Colt.”
“I’m sorry, sir.”
“If only ‘sorry’ could fix things. But it can’t.”
Once again, a long silence stretched through the room. The sound of the ticking clock on the wall seemed to grow unnaturally loud. I swallowed again, despite my mouth being dry, as I waited to hear from him what my fate would be.
But the longer the silence continued, the more I began to realize that I knew perfectly well what I wanted my fate to be. All the stress and frustration I’d been feeling began to dissipate with each passing second marked by the ticking of the clock on the wall.
I thought about all the attempts that had been made on Speaker Finley’s life. Terrifying as they were, if anything, it had made me realize just how short life could be. None of us were promised today or tomorrow, and in reality, there was nothing anyone could do about it.
And with life already being so short, didn’t we all deserve a shot at happiness?
And if we knew without a doubt what would make us happy, it would be absolutely foolish to let it slip away.
Fucking stupid actually.
I didn’t want to be stupid anymore. I had already made enough mistakes in my lifetime.
