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I went back home and buried myself in a book. I called his assistant and told her I fell ill and would be back Monday. I studied even though I knew the information from the inside out. It was nice to go back to my old days before two men paraded into my life and left me in cahoots.
Sarai came home and we had a nice girls night. We watched movies and ate alfredo pasta. I told her how I really felt about the two of them and it was nice to talk it out.
“You don’t feel like you like one more than the other?” She asked me.
I tugged my sweat shirt tighter.
“No. I guess it is a little weird. But when I think about them I get the same level of excited and I kind of never think about them alone, always together. Maybe I am crazy and they are the same person.” I laughed nervously.
I was annoyed and angry at Logan for not calling me back or answering my text. So technically, Jake was higher on the list but still, it affected them both. If a scandal ruined Logan, it would ruin them. So I had to talk to him. I wanted to give him a heads up incase these rumors were strong and could actually do something to him. I did not want to tell him over text because that would be…wrong, in some way.
But he didn’t answer, still.
“Wow. That must be a rush. I wonder what it’s like.”
“It’s insane. Right now it’s frustrating because I don’t know what I want to do. If I leave the internship, he’d only be involved with a student and not both his employee and student. If I break it off with them I don’t know how well I could focus on work. I just feel like I can’t really…have it all.”
“Aw,” she came over to me and hugged me on the couch, “you can. Just, give it two days. Men literally need a day to reread the message and then reply. He probably thinks you have some big news to tell him, like you love him or something.” She laughed, but it was too plausible to ignore.
I stiffened and she felt it. She moved back and tilted her head.
“Wait, you don’t…are you in love with them both?”
My heart was in my throat, and I couldn’t find words. But I knew what I wanted to say. I stared back at my friend. My dear friend who was the only thing keeping me together all this time.
“I don’t know. Maybe?”
Twelve: Jake
I beat the bag like it had personally wronged me. I went until my knuckles were numb and I sweat through the wraps. Then I tied a new set and kept going.
I hit the weights pretty hard when I was done. I was in the gym for hours. Frustrated. The market is flux, work is killing me and I hadn’t seen Madeline in a week.
It worried me and confused me because I didn’t know why I was even so worried in the first place. I mean I like her, but I always had a problem separating liking a woman versus liking her body. This was different because I couldn’t separate.
I like Madeline’s body. Her pert breasts and that round ass, so luscious and smooth and the way her hair falls over her shoulder and neck in the sexiest of ways. And I like her. She is intelligent, and driven. She knows what she wants and she goes for it, and I respect that about her. She can be a shark in business.
I couldn’t get her out of my head and I wasn’t alone in it. Logan and I revel in her even after she is gone, talking about her like she has the key to life. The key to our dicks, maybe.
But sine I hadn’t heard from her I thought she had run or something. Maybe we moved in too fast, and she got cold feet or got scared. I didn’t imagine her doing that without her talking to us first, she wouldn’t just leave her work. And she does work for us at the end of the day. I had to believe it was something else.
I finished up the gym and headed to the sauna. I must have sat in there for nearly a half hour, because I downed almost a gallon of water when I got out. I headed back to my place and got ready for work. I thought about Madeline in the shower, I think about her all the time but it was bad today, I didn’t know why.
I thought of her voice, like bells and fucking Christmas because she was always so sweet and enthusiastic. And her face, so soft and sweet but those lips were like a drug to me.
The way they grip my cock and coax my lips. Halfway through my trance I had my hands on my cock, imagining her face. Her body. Her pussy, so tight and wet, gripping me, drawing me in. I was trapped in her, I want her.
I need her. So, where is she?
I pumped myself harder and faster as I imagined her, taking another cock as she got ready for mine. Her breasts bouncing, her hips rolling as she took every thrust. Her moans, so sexy and uninhibited. Natural, loud, yet sultry. I let it ring in my ears as I pictured her. Looking up at me with those wide eager eyes. I focused on her lips and then I came with a hard shudder and jerk of my cock. I should stop doing this, that shit clogs the drains.
I finished up and dried off. I barely even had an appetite, so I just had my coffee. I wandered around my apartment in my boxers for a while before I talked myself into getting dressed. I kept imagining when Madeline was her, on the bed and elsewhere. I refused to realize it for a while but I miss her.
I wanted to call her, but every time I tried I couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t even talk to Logan about it, I didn’t want him to think I was trying to take her for myself. In a way, I don’t think I could keep her alone. It was something I thought about. Us, together. But somehow not her with either of us.
I dressed in an actual suit, which I almost never do. With everything going on in the office I felt like I had to at least look the part of a business man. We never hang this low, and I didn’t know what it was. Of course it wasn’t a big dent or anything, but still.
Madeline’s startup might just put us back on, and get us in new markets. If she was even still with us. That’s it, I have to figure it out today.
