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“That’s true. She has no family now, I’m sure she is really confused right now. I don’t want to add to that. Should we still talk to her?” Levi asked me.
“I think so. We know we’re both on the same page now. But…if she doesn’t want us both, then…”
“Then neither of us get her. That’s how it should be.”
I nodded in agreement. I knew we would never let it come between us. But it would be easy for something like that to drive a wedge between anyone. Levi and I would be fine. But we weren’t going to fight over her or make her feel like she had to choose. We were going to play all our cards at once.
“Yeah. Do you know what hotel she is staying at?” I asked him. He shrugged.
“Nope. There are only two for the next ten miles though.”
“Let’s go find her then.”
18
Adley
I had been in the same position and in the same clothes for a week. I thought so, at least.
It was an exaggeration for sure, but it was mostly true. I would wake up, get breakfast, make the bitter coffee in my hotel room, and go back to bed and watch television. I was just down in the dumps, feeling sorry for myself and I hated it. I hated that self-pity feeling, and feeling like I couldn’t do anything to help myself. Hating every decision I made and wishing everything was different.
I wished I had grown up differently. Had real parents who supported me. Wished I had gone to college and worked my dream job in a bakery somewhere. Or even had my own bakery, and repeat customers that I knew by name.
It was just a dream, I knew that. I knew it could never really happen.
Until a few days later when something shifted. I didn’t even know what it was. I had been thinking a lot about Levi and Tate. About how they both loved their jobs, loved the work they did, and cared about me too. They both checked on me every day, but I just couldn’t bring myself to respond for some reason. I thought I was just ashamed of having ignored them so many times, that I couldn’t reach out to them.
I also knew it was just because I didn’t know how to tell them how I felt. I accepted my new found sexual attraction to two men, and tried to justify it in my head. But I just couldn’t let myself think it was okay to have feelings for two men, and expect them to be okay with it. They were best friends too, so that just made it feel worse to me.
We never had serious conversations about feelings and all that. It hadn’t been that long, anyway. I just knew what I was feeling was real. A raw, deep pull towards Levi and Tate that I knew I couldn’t shake. They were both amazing men. Smart in their own ways, funny, and sweet. It was obvious how much they did care, I just didn’t know if they wanted me to feel for both of them.
Because I did, of course.
It was halfway through the day when I got out of bed, but stayed in my large tee shirt and boy shirts to surf the net for some jobs. I figured it was time to actually start making a change in my life. I knew I couldn’t go back to school and start from the beginning, so I wanted to find something where I could learn on the job.
I wouldn’t mind being a lowly assistant in a bakery or something. Anything that could get me around baking, I would be happy with. I noticed I didn’t have any new messages on my phone either. Not since the morning when they had both said good morning to me, and asked me how I was doing. My fingers lingered over the keyboard, wondering if I should try and reply to them. But every time I typed something out, I ended up deleting it because it didn’t sound right. I felt like an indecisive teenager.
I tore thoughts of them from my mind and tried to focus on my applications. My resume was still up-to-date. I just had to tweak my cover letter a bit, and then it was just a bunch of copy and pasting, and attaching my resume and cover letter in the right place. I wrote a specific cover letter to Amelia’s even though they weren’t hiring. By the time I was done my fingers were a little crampy, and my eyes were tired. It felt like a good time for a nap.
I plugged my phone in to charge—as if anyone was trying to get in touch with me—and turned the television on back to Law & Order. The lull of legal terms and intense cops made my eyes droop, and just as I was falling into that sweet warmth of sleep, there was a knock at my door. I didn’t remember ordering room service. I immediately thought my card had declined or something crazy like that.
I yawned and got up to open the door. But I didn’t expect what met me on the other side. Levi and Tate were there. Levi wore a dark green shirt that stretched across his muscles and made his green eyes pop. He was also holding a big brown bag of what I assumed was food. Tate had on a faded red shirt, and they both were their sexy jeans that fit them perfectly.
And I was wearing an old Nine Inch Nails tee shirt and pink cotton boy shorts. Great. I hadn’t brushed my hair in days, either. Long story short, I looked a mess. They looked perfect.
“Um. Hi.” I bit my lip nervously as my heartbeat picked up.
“Hey, can we come in?” Tate asked apprehensively. He regarded me carefully, his eyes fleeting across my body.
They both were looking at me like that. My body heated with anticipation.
“Uh, yeah.” They came in and I shut the door. “How did you find me?” I locked the door.
Levi set the bag on the little side table.
“Wasn’t too hard. Just a lot of charming the lady at the front desk,” Levi grinned. I blushed as I imagined him trying to get someone to do what he asked. He didn’t even have to try with me, so I wondered how that woman must have felt.
“Oh.”
