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At the end of the day, I wasn’t irreplaceable.
I shuddered, and turned on my computer. The times of taking anything for granted was far behind me now.
Trying to ignore my pounding headache, I began to pull up the latest numbers. Yet they only sent a pang through my chest, for I knew that they would be a lot easier to make sense of if Joanna beside me, checking over them also. We’d made a good team.
“Dammit,” I said and sighed.
CHAPTER 22
Joanna
I knew Anderson had been trying to call me, but I just couldn’t muster the energy to speak with him. After leaving the gala, I’d turned off my phone and went straight back to Tobias’s, hating that I didn’t have anywhere else to go. When I got back to Tobias’s big empty mansion, it was almost too much for me to bear, thinking back to the utter disappointment and disgust that had been on his face when he’d caught me with Anderson.
I shuddered just thinking about it, for never in my life had my brother looked at me that way. It was a look that I hoped to never to receive from him ever again.
I had contemplated packing my things and staying at a hotel, but before I had a chance to act on it, my stomach heaved with nausea again.
I spent the rest of the night and the following morning vomiting. I could only presume the fancy food provided at the gala hadn’t agreed with me at all. Clinging to the toilet bowl, I wished I had just opted to stay home that night entirely. Perhaps the whole Lauren fiasco had been foreshadowing that the night had been doomed.
It had been late when Tobias made it home from the event. I had just cleaned myself up from another bout of vomiting when I heard him tinkering around in the kitchen. I halfway wanted to hide from him indefinitely, but doing so made me feel too much like a child, as if I was refusing to come out of my room after upsetting my parents. So I forced myself to go downstairs to greet him.
When I reached the kitchen, he was facing the refrigerator, throwing back a drink of some kind.
“How did your speech go?” I asked, my voice cutting through the icy silence permeating the house.
Tobias turned around, slammed his cup onto the kitchen counter, and walked passed me without saying a word.
I started to feel sick all over again, but felt grateful that he hadn’t kicked me out of his house, at least…
Taking the hint that he didn’t want to talk, I headed back to my room, where I remained for the rest of the night, fighting intense bouts of nausea every time I thought of Tobias and Anderson and what I could possibly do to remedy our situation.
*
The night of the gala, I went to bed, hoping and praying that I would feel better when I woke the following morning. But the sickness persisted, and even got worse in the morning. I had wanted to ask Tobias about the dinner that had been served and whether he was feeling all right afterwards. But he continued avoiding me like the plague and was out of the house before I could even think about trying to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him about what had happened.
Anderson continued to call and text me, but I resisted responding to him. As much as I hated ignoring him, I felt that talking to him would only make things worse. I needed to get things right with my brother first, because deep down, I agreed that Anderson and I had been disrespectful to him in hiding our relationship.
Plus, I didn’t think I could even carry out a long conversation with the way my nausea had me constantly running to the toilet.
When Monday rolled around, I woke up feeling just as sick. Tobias still hadn’t bothered to speak with me, not even caring that I wouldn’t be going to work that day. While I understood his disappointment, a part of
me was growing increasingly annoyed. I was his little sister, for crying out loud. He could have at least checked to make sure I wasn’t dying, because I certainly felt like I was…
My mood souring by the second, I was grateful when my nausea started to ease by that afternoon. I was positively starving by then, particularly since it felt like I had been throwing up everything I’d ever eaten in my entire life.
Still in my pajamas, I went to the kitchen and rummaged through the refrigerator and the cabinets, thinking that I should probably eat some chicken noodle soup and crackers, with ginger-ale. But I noticed I had a sweet tooth. When I spotted a tub of vanilla ice cream in the freezer, my mouth practically started to salivate.
Don’t be stupid. You don’t need ice-cream while you’re recovering from food poisoning, a voice in my head warned.
But my craving for the ice cream was too strong and ultimately won the battle.
Moments later, I found myself curled on the couch in front of the TV, in danger of finishing off the whole tub. I hadn’t eaten ice cream in years, having lost my taste for it sometime ago. Yet now, it tasted amazing.
As I began scraping the bottom of the container, I tried to recall the last time I’d eaten ice cream. My mind drew a blank for a while, but then I finally remembered…
It had been during my senior year of high school after I broke up with William Towly…
The break up had been bad, primarily because I’d been so young and naïve. Will had been my first love and first loves were hard to get over. He had asked me to the homecoming dance at the beginning of the year, even after Tobias had threatened to give him a black eye to match his suit. Immediately, I’d felt that any guy not frightened away by my overprotective big brother was a keeper. My little teenaged heart had presumed that me and Will were going to be together forever. He was handsome, smart, charming, funny, and had a bit of a bad-boy edge to go along with it that had left me smitten right from the start.
