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She’s all bubbly and excited as I text Ty.
My cousin Julie has to stay here for a little while. Sorry.
He doesn’t text me back, must be busy at work. He finally found a job that pays well and suits him. He’s an electrical apprentice with a big commercial business. It means he travels a lot with the company to jobs, but everything is taken care of. His food, hotel, everything. And he’s working twelve hour shifts so he can be home with us more.
Julie sits down as I make some tea. Luckily, Ella is at preschool, so we’re not interrupted. We chat about our lives for a while before I hear Ty’s truck pull up. She and I walk outside to greet him. I don’t want him feeling like she’s already taken over. Even though our living room looks like it. Her coat on one chair, purse on another, cell phone plugged into the wall. She has more stuff than our toddler.
“I take it you're Julie,” he says, stepping out of his truck, clearly trying to avert his eyes away from her chest.
“Yep, this is me,” she says with a giggle and tucks her hair behind her ear coyly.
Ty smiles and looks at me. “Umm… do you have stuff?”
“Yeah! It’s in my car.”
I watch intently as she bends over to pull out a box and a suitcase, which Ty takes from her.
“Well, we better get all this stuff inside,” he says, lugging it through our open door.
They walk in, and I stand there in the doorway with my arms crossed. Drawing in a slow breath, I shake my head and close the door behind me. No matter what I try to do, I can't shake the green-eyed monster within. The way they talk, shamelessly flirting with each other, pisses me off. It’s like I no longer exist.
“Cami? What's wrong?” Ty asks, coming up behind me and rubbing my shoulders.
“Nothing,” I reply, virtually through my teeth. He pulls me into him, hugging me tightly. I smile as his warmth encompasses me. After we have dinner together, I excuse myself to put Ella to bed. She already loves Julie, who’s read her about six stories and braided her hair. I try to let go of the nagging feeling that won’t leave me and have a good evening catching up with Julie, but soon, a terrible headache creeps up, and I use the excuse to head to bed. It’s already after midnight and I fully expect Ty to follow after me shortly. I fall asleep as soon as I crawl under the sheets.
Rolling over in bed, hours later, I realize I'm still alone. The coldness of his side of the bed jars me to full consciousness. Getting up to use the restroom, I hear laughter coming from the front of the house. My urge to pee is forgotten as I scamper down the hallway.
A terrible thought crosses my mind, “No,” I whisper to myself as I round the corner to the living room.
Ty and Julie are sitting on the couch, talking. The more I observe, the more I realize just how close they are. Ty is sitting there in his pajama pants, shirtless, while Julie is in shorts and a tank top that leaves nothing to the imagination. I clear my throat as I walk towards them and they both jump up.
“Sorry, I woke up and realized you weren't there. I thought something might be wrong, but clearly it's not,” I say turning to go back to bed.
I check on Ella before going back to my room, but she’s sleeping soundly, as if our family isn’t falling apart in the living room. I'm angry as I crawl back in bed. Every possible scenario plays out in my head while I lay there, staring into the darkness. The bedroom door creaks open and I turn over, facing the wall. Ty climbs into bed and snuggles up to me. Laying there limply, I make no effort to reciprocate. He kisses my temple and pulls me closer.
“Cam,” he whispers. I don't respond, because if I do, he’ll hear the hurt in my voice. “I love you,” he says and kisses my cheek.
Laying there in the darkness, I listen to the slow rhythm of his breathing before sleep finally finds me once again.
10
Jett
It takes me three days to gather the courage to go to the clubhouse. I need something in my life, and if Wilson says that this can be that something for me, I'm going to take advantage. I ride Lucy through the windy streets until finally, I end up in a shadier side of town where there are weeds springing up from between the asphalt. I pull up to a brick building with at least six bikes sitting out front called Brotherhood Bar and Billiards. The door’s wide open and there's a neon sign flashing in the front window telling me that they’re open. I doubt many people stop by here that aren’t part of the brotherhood—it doesn't seem like a place that you would just pop in for a drink. But that's not what I'm here for either. I'm here to find my place.
I set my helmet on top of the handlebars, still feeling the low rumble of the bike underneath me before I shut her down and step off. I don't even get to the front door before Wilson walks out, extending a hand to me and clapping me on the back.
"Good to see you, man! I've told all the guys about you, and they’re looking forward to meeting you."
I take a deep breath before speaking. "I'm looking forward to meeting them too, but you're sure about this, right? About what they do here?"
Wilson nods his head. "You're going to fit right in, trust me."
We step over the threshold into the bar, and I can smell stale beer and something similar to sweat. I hope they don't actually serve food here, because I'd never be able to eat it. There's a mountainous man standing behind the bar and a group of guys about twice my age sitting at a table in front of it. They're silent as I enter.
"Everybody, this is Jett Stewart. Stewart, these are the guys. The elders of the brotherhood. They determine whether or not you get to stay," Wilson says, introducing me.
I make my way around the table, shaking hands and looking into the eyes of the men who fought wars before me. It's a humbling moment. Most of them have salt-and-pepper hair and graying beards. They came home and they survived, even making something of themselves. That gives me a chance. And hope.
