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“But, you didn't take the bait, right? I mean you're not going get back together with him, not after what he did to you.”
I sighed. “I wish I could say I didn't. But that would be lying. I don't know, Alexis. He makes me crazy. I can’t think straight around him. I felt like he deserved another chance.”
She just stared at me. “Another chance? When he almost sent you to jail? And now it turns out that he may or may not be a drug dealer? But, sure, he deserves a second chance.” The sarcasm was dripping off her words.
“You’re the one who said to give him another chance!” I argued.
“Yeah before I realized who he is, what he does. I did my research Calla, he runs drugs, I’m sure of it. He’s not a millionaire because he’s a good guy.”
“Most aren’t.”
She raised an eyebrow at me, she knew I was referencing her dad, even if I didn’t mean for it to sound as heavy as it had. “Touché.”
I knew she was right. I knew that I was making a huge mistake, but somehow I couldn't help it. The way that Hudson made me feel, my skin tingling every time he touched me, the way my breath caught in my chest when our eyes locked… I just couldn't deny my feelings for him as much as I wanted to. I knew he was dangerous, but I didn't care.
Alexis crossed her arms, and looked back at the television, acting like she wasn't interested our conversation anymore. But I knew she was worried, and she had every right to be. By me being involved with Hudson, it put her in danger too.
“Alexis, I can handle it. I promise nothing will happen to you.”
She turned her head and narrowed her eyes at me. “You don't know that. You're being reckless Calla, something you never are. You’re calculated and smart. Why throw everything away for one guy?”
She was right; I usually planned everything out in my life, just so I wouldn’t end up like my mom. But, for some reason, Hudson made the risk worth it. But I didn't know how I could explain that to her.
“You're right. But this is what I'm doing, and it's cool if you don't support me. You don't have to have my back on this one.” I stood up, and started to walk away, but she called after me.
“Calla! You're my best friend, dammit. I'm just worried about you.” I looked over my shoulder to see her standing next to the sofa. “I just don't want to see you broken; there's not enough Ben & Jerry's to fix that if he hurts you again.”
“I know.” I continued walking and shut my door behind me. I sat down on my bed, and looked at a picture of the two of us that I kept on my nightstand. Alexis was always looking out for me; that's just what best friends do. Suddenly, Hudson felt like a betrayal against that friendship. So, why did I still want him?
Twenty-Two
That evening, I had my normal shift at the library. I planned on getting some work done, but Shane had me stacking books instead. We were getting close to finals, and people were using some of the textbooks for thesis statements, mostly the graduate students. That would be me one day. Working on law papers, attempting to reach my goal. I also saw them studying, nervously sweating in the tiny little cubicles that they used to block out the rest of the world. I hope that part wouldn’t be included in my future, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
I was on the top floor of the library, stacking books about sexual harassment law when I saw two people arguing in the next aisle. It looked like a couple just having a relationship issue, and I didn't want to intrude, so I moved to the other side, and waited for them to figure it out. I saw a guy sitting by himself with headphones on, but I realized that he wasn't studying. He was talking on a cell phone, but he kept the headphones around his head to make it look like he was busy. Or maybe I was just being paranoid.
I couldn't help but overhear the conversation as I walked away from the arguing couple. I tried to appear inconspicuous as I looked through the shelves, pretending to need a book. I'd abandoned my cart in the corner so that I just looked like another college student.
"I’ll have your money. You don’t need to tell Rudolph anything. I will have it tonight." He paused for a moment. "No, I haven't seen her. But there was some weird shit going on in class today. The professor cancelled class and gave us some online assignment. But I know that she stayed. At least, I think she did."
He paused again listening to the person on the other end of the line. "Okay I know, but you guys need to stop calling me. Someone is going to figure it out."
I wondered what someone was going to figure out, and if that someone was me. Hudson was the professor who didn't finish the class, and I was the girl who stayed after for some…extra activities. My heart rate quickened just being reminded of our encounter.
The kid put his phone down and put his headphones back on, furiously typing on a laptop. I tried to look over his shoulder, but I couldn't see anything. I opened a book and began paging through it, and moving closer to him to try to see what he was working on, but he turned around and looked right at me. He shook his head and took off his headphones, slamming his laptop screen down, and shoving his things in a bag. I turned around and walked back to the stacks, thinking he would just leave, but instead he walked right towards me.
"You better watch yourself. You're not the only one involved."
I shut the book. "What the hell does that mean? And who were you just talking to?"
He looked me up and down in a way that made me feel dirty. "You'll see soon enough. Watch your back."
"Watch yours,” I spat back at him.
He just shook his head, and stormed off. I didn't even know his name. He was just some kid I'd seen in class. But who was he even talking to? And why were they interested in me?
When I got back to the apartment, Alexis was drowning herself in wine as per usual for a Monday evening. Our favorite television shows were on and, typically, when I got off of work we ordered a pizza, and drank ourselves silly. It was a good ritual, one that I wanted to stay intact even after our conversation earlier in the day.
"Hey," I said, as I dropped my bag next to the couch. "Did you leave any for me?"
