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“You were responsible for her up to a point. She made her decision and then compounded her error by not waiting for you to see what could be done.”
Edwin slammed his fist into his open hand. “No! It is not that easy. While I was enjoying myself, dodging marriage minded mamas, and spending time at my clubs, I left her welfare to my cousin who obviously was not the best chaperone one could find.”
“And the only way you learned this was when Lydia came to you in trouble.” Rayne raised her hand to silence him when he opened his mouth to dispute what she’d said. “First of all, the main culprit is your young lord who knew what he was doing, while your sister, being an innocent, did not. Second, your chaperone was derelict in her duties, third, the young lord’s father did the most unconscionable thing a man could do, and allowed—na
y, ordered—his son to abandon his duty and responsibility.”
She reached out and touched his hand. “As difficult as it will be for you to admit, your sister was the ultimate guilty party. Not because she allowed what happened to her, being too innocent to know when to stop before it was too late, but she preferred to end her life rather than depend on you to help.”
Rayne shook her head, her entire being aching for his pain. “I have dealt with suicide before, and what the victim rarely considers is the pain caused to those left behind. Also, being very young, Lydia did not have the experience to learn that no matter how bad things get, they eventually get better. She didn’t live long enough to discover life has its ups and downs.”
Silence fell in the room. The ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner matched the beats of her heart as she studied Edwin. He looked devastated.
He drew in a deep breath. “Honestly, I had never considered my sister’s responsibility in the matter. I was too focused on my failure and her youth. Yes, she was young, and perhaps foolish, but she had no faith in me to help her.”
“I have a feeling this all happened right before you moved to Bath and began your hedonistic lifestyle?”
He squared his shoulders. “I would not call it hedonistic…”
Her raised eyebrows stopped him.
“Perhaps it was a bit too much.”
“Edwin, many people turn to self-destruction when in pain. You are no different than others who have done the same thing. What you need to do is put it behind you. Not that you will ever completely forget your sister, or the part you feel you played in her downfall. But eventually, you will not feel the pain you feel now.”
He sat with his hands dangling between his spread knees, his head down. Rayne bent so she could see his face. “It’s time to forgive yourself, Edwin. Would Lydia want you to live this way?”
He shook his head. “No. She was a wonderful girl. Loving, caring, and concerned with the happiness of others.” He looked over at Rayne. “She would have been a wonderful mother.”
Walter arrived at the door to her office causing a slight interruption in their conversation. “Dr. Stevens, this message just arrived for you.” He held out a salver with an envelope on it.
“Thank you.” She took the letter and winced. “It’s from my father.”
My Dear Daughter,
I have received your note and will expect you Monday afternoon at three o’clock. Mr. Faulkner-Jones will once again be here, and since I do not wish to disrupt his schedule unnecessarily, please arrive on time.
Father
Well, then. It appeared her suggestion to him of a day for her visit had turned into a command to appear because of Mr. Faulkner-Jones’ schedule, with no consideration for her appointments. But then, Father always did consider a man’s life much more important than a woman’s.
“It appears my father has agreed to Monday afternoon for me to join him and Mr. Faulkner-Jones to discuss our…wedding.”
“No.”
Rayne sighed. “One does not ignore a summons by my father. I’m afraid I must attend.”
Edwin placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her body so she faced him. “Perhaps you cannot accept my offer of marriage because you are still bound to Mr. Faulkner-Jones, however that betrothal was not something you agreed to, but were told about. It doesn’t make it legal, Rayne. You are a grown woman, and don’t have to accept something your father did when you were a mere child.”
“I am confused, and still tired, and don’t really wish to talk about this now. I also have patients to see to make sure they are all taken care of before I visit with my father on Monday.”
“You will forego your lovely bicycle today and use my carriage. I don’t think it’s a good idea to be pedaling about when you’re feeling this fatigued.”
She smiled her heart full with Edwin’s kindness. “Thank you.”
“I will instruct my driver to drop me off at home now and then return the carriage once your calls are finished. I will also make my carriage available on Monday for your visit as planned before.”
She grinned. “It appears I will be making use of your carriage more than you will for the next two days.”
