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“Right,” Lucas said. “At first it was just Hodgkin’s and they were extremely confident it could be cured without much trouble, but then they found something else that wasn’t so trivial. The diagnosis was a lot less clear-cut.” He seemed to be smiling from where I could see, but I had a feeling a different angle would have shown me a grimace, carefully disguised. “Lucy was never a lucky girl. After the second diagnosis she spent a lot of time in a lot of different facilities, met a lot of people. Jill was one we saw around a lot, who went to a lot of the same places we did. Her streak of bad luck ran for a bit longer than Lucy’s, unfortunately for her.”
“It must have been really tough when she died,” I said.
Lucas shrugged, still staring at the road. “For Lucy, yeah. Jill was a bit of a peek into what might be in store for her, I guess. I never knew her well, but our parents talked a lot, and I just always thought it was really shitty. Imagine your life being over that early.”
He was definitely bullshitting me with this line of just feeling sorry for a dead girl. I didn’t see Lucas as being the type to lie that easily about how well he knew her, though, which meant there had to be something else to it. I thought I knew, too: his sister.
I’d gotten it all wrong when he arranged that car for me that was just like Lucy’s. I assumed he was just trying to fuck with me… but, of course, he would have been expecting me to be angry and to fight him over it then. He’d been so angry because in his head, I should have appreciated the gesture. A car just like his sister’s, who he actually loved more than anything else.
Who he actually loved.
Lucas’s love seemed like it would be a terrifying thing, but I’d bet his sister didn’t worry about any harm coming to her.
“Lucas,” I spoke up as he drove us into a park I never even knew existed, with overgrown trees all the way up from the entrance that scraped along the side of the car and made me duck. Lucas didn’t even flinch though, and of course nothing seemed to so much as brush him. “I should let my mother know I’m going to be late for dinner.” The car was definitely going to pick up some damage from this place—not that it was pristine any more, I supposed. Rather like myself… although I felt a lot happier about that than I did about crude dicks drawn on my doors.
“Won’t be long,” Lucas said. “I’ll come by some other time and let her know it was all on me if she makes a fuss.”
“How are you going to introduce yourself?” I found myself asking. All that pleasure before had made my brains loose. “Are you like my boyfriend, or some guy who just takes me out now and then and puts his hands wherever he pleases and then buys me some expensive shit? Because—”
“Shut up, Calista,” Lucas said. “I’m not here to form any more attachments. You’re pretty, and you’ve got a good personality most of the time, and I want to spend time with you now and then. That’s fucking it. That’s all it needs to be, and you shouldn’t need to explain to anybody. You’re a fucking grown woman.”
He stopped the car in a particularly decrepit corner of the park and turned to me. This was clearly a place he’d come before, and now in the glow of regret from opening my mouth, I was far too aware of how alone we were. I had no idea who, if anyone, might hear me if I screamed. I had no idea if I was going to want to scream.
“Okay,” said Lucas, “so what is it? Do you want to run like hell now?”
In my current state it took me some time to accept that I’d heard the words I had. Was Lucas actually trying to give me a choice?
Of course it was not nearly so much of a choice as he wanted it to seem, because he’d waited too long. He’d gotten me hooked and pulled me in almost all the way, let me see what was on the other side of my world, and now he was asking if I wanted to be thrown back before I had a chance to make sense of any of it.
I think my hesitation was enough of a no for him. He unclipped my seatbelt for me, then grabbed a fistful of my hair and used it to steer me forward, planting an uneven kiss on my lips and then leaning back, still holding onto me, while he fiddled with his belt with his free hand.
Once I could see what he was doing, I was back in that too-late-regrets headspace. “Lucas, I—this is—” This wasn’t like at my workplace, where he’d been able to manage the situation somewhat. We were out in public, and anyone could come along. Maybe he knew it didn’t happen very often, but you just never knew. He was still in his school uniform for goodness sake—
“It’s only fair,” Lucas said. “I know you liked what I did for you, and it’s not like that wasn’t risky. But it’s your choice.”
The bastard knew perfectly well it wasn’t really ‘my choice’. It had never been my choice since he’d decided he wanted to mess with me. He’d been creating the rules of the world I existed in from moment one, and I was stuck just playing along.
I didn’t say any more then, or struggle or do anything but watch as he drew down his zip and reached in to pull out a dick that looked pretty big to me, not that I’d encountered many of them in my life of course. I felt a little thrill running through me at the sight of it, especially where I was still sensitive from his fingers in me before. I was trying not to think about something… bigger… in me now, but my own thoughts weren’t respecting my wishes.
Lucas grabbed my hand and wrapped my fingers around the base of his shaft, then started pulling on my hair again, dragging my face down until I had to start aligning my mouth towards him or get myself poked in the eye with a big slick
head.
I couldn’t stifle a giggle at the thought, and Lucas growled. “No man wants someone to burst out laughing when they get out their cock, thank you very much.”
I wanted to apologise, but Lucas took a tighter hold of my hair, and suddenly my mouth was too full.
The taste of him was unexpected, stronger than I would have imagined. I gagged and tried to pull back but he held me in place, making me take the time I needed to adjust.
“Ready, Callie?” he said after a few seconds had passed. I made a noise that I didn’t think was terribly close to yes or no, but he started moving my head up and down on him, so it was clearly enough for him. I was quickly becoming used to the taste and could concentrate on the sensation of being impaled on him, of the muscles in his belly straining before my eyes under his shirt as he thrust into me a little as well. He was breathing heavily, an occasional grunt letting slip.
How had I gotten myself into this situation? A breeze ruffling my hair from behind reminded me just how exposed we were in this position, and Lucas’s free hand sliding down the neck of my shirt where it gaped open, squeezing my breasts, sent a swell of arousal through my own body, making me very conscious of just how helpless I was to not do whatever Lucas wanted me to do. It was a good thing I didn’t have any serious desire to resist, I supposed.
I wanted to see how his expression had changed now I was the one pleasuring him, but when I raised my eyes up to his face I saw he’d turned his head so he was staring out the side of the car. It really provoked me. I wanted him to be looking down at me as I sucked him off, stroking my hair and my face, not using me thoughtlessly as a sex toy.
And yet the careless way he was using me was turning me on, too. It was probably because of the way he’d played with me earlier, getting me in that frame of mind, but I was starting to get the horrifying feeling that, given enough time, I would be able to come just from sucking him.
That made me realise something obvious I should have been aware of from the start: he was going to come at some point, and given the current state of things that would be in my—
