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the first time, I didn’t think he might try something with me.
When Lucas started chuckling to himself, I resisted the temptation of asking him what was up. That seemed to be what he was aiming for, after all. If he had something to say, he would have to bring it up with me without playing stupid games.
“It’s funny you let him talk to you that way,” he spoke up finally.
“Like what, making jokes?” I shrugged. “He does a good job and never tries to overcharge or trick me into work I don’t need. I don’t care if he thinks he’s funny, I kind of like it.”
“I mean specifically saying he’s going to fix your car with a scouring cloth. Do you think he’s making those sorts of jokes to his male customers?”
“I don’t know,” I said, “you tell me.”
“I think some of them would take very unkindly to that sort of flippancy, but he knows he can get away with it with you.”
“I think you’re starting to construct conspiracy theories because all your usual ways of getting my attention won’t work any more,” I shot back.
“Maybe,” Lucas said. “They wouldn’t have worked in the first place though if you weren’t so desperate for the validation of men, would they?”
That was far too close to what I’d been thinking earlier. It actually terrified me. Maybe I could call the cops on Lucas if he started manipulating me into acts I didn’t want to have go that way, but if he had some sort of innate insight into my mind, there was nobody who could protect me from him. “Lucas, just shut up, honestly. Let’s go look in some shops and then at six I’ll take you home and we can both feel good about the day.”
“Seems to me you should feel pretty good about what you’re getting out of today.”
“And are you going to ruin it now by getting sassy on me?”
“Hey, I—”
“Come on, Lucas,” I said. “Your sister seems to be sick of your shit too. How about you give her a break?”
“I was just going to say I like it when you’re like this. Standing up to a man instead of trying to fawn and pander.”
I sighed. “Next you’ll be telling me everything you’ve done is some strategy to harden me up so I can be my best self or something.”
“Nah,” said Lucas, “you know it was a strategy to get my hands on you.”
I offered him my arm when we walked up the ramp to the sliding doors leading into the small mall around the corner from Rob’s place, and got a, “Thank you,” and the light pressure of his hand on my lower back when he let go of me. I felt something sinking down there in my belly as I realised I had just brought him back into my life… but had he ever really been gone? Perhaps he had just been waiting all that time for me to come back to him on my own terms… and perhaps it was okay that he’d done it like that.
Lucas gestured towards a row of fashion stores at one end of the mall, the sort of places I would let myself visit maybe once a year under normal circumstances. “How about we go have a look in some of those shops? I’ll buy you anything you like.”
“Is this your way of telling me my clothes are terrible?” I snorted. “Are you going to set my whole existing wardrobe on fire and then tell me I might as well let you buy me all-new things of your own choice?”
“You’re so cynical, Callie, maybe I don’t like this as much as I thought. I just thought it’d be a nice gesture, when I know you probably don’t get to buy new clothes very often.”
“That’s true,” I said, “but the joke’s on you. I don’t really like clothes or clothes-shopping.”
“Ah, very interesting,” he said, as if he’d been fishing for information this whole time. “What do you like, then?”
“I read a bit,” I told him. “I play a few video games—whatever I can get on sale, so not the latest releases, and not multiplayer ever, so don’t even think about it.”
“Hey,” Lucas said, walking past the fashion corner without another glance, “I can’t stand video games, so you’ve got nothing to worry about from me.”
“I’m surprised,” I admitted. “I would have thought you’d be exactly the type. You’ve got all that fighting energy to direct somewhere.”
“I don’t like how artificial it all is,” Lucas said. “I mean, you’re grabbing some lump of plastic, poking at little plastic buttons. It hasn’t really got anything to do with what you’re pretending to do. I guess they have that virtual reality stuff now but that’s even worse. You’re waving your arms and legs in thin air and you look like an absolute dick to whoever is watching. Now Steven, he spends literal hours in his evenings talking to people he’s never met in person and shooting at their… avatars? I don’t know what the fuck they call those things. The guy doesn’t give a shit what sort of sport it is, if it tickles his bro heart, he’s in.”
Steven, the friend you won’t let me anywhere near, was on the tip of my tongue… but I kept myself quiet. This was the most words Lucas had said to me that weren’t him trying to tell me off or obviously get me to do something for him, and I should only waste that if I really wanted nothing more to do with him. I didn’t know what my feelings were on that front yet.
“I do have a third interest,” I told him instead as we passed by a big homewares store. I slowed and pointed it out. “House design and decoration.”
And Lucas walked straight through the entrance of the store without consulting me, which I didn’t even mind for once. I went into those sorts of store a lot more than clothing stores, but I bought things a lot less. I didn’t exactly have room to put decorations or even set up most of the ‘handy storage solutions’. But that just meant I was used to getting all my enjoyment from looking.
