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“No Julia, I’m not that ‘sort of woman’. But I’m not the sort who just takes everything at face value either. If you really were hurt, I’m going to do everything I can to st
op you from being hurt again. That means I’m going to hold you accountable if you get back in these bad patterns where you approach Steven… when you know you shouldn’t do that.”
What Julia was doing with her face wasn’t pretty at all.
“Yes, I think maybe people don’t confront you because they’re intimidated by you, Julia,” I said. “But bad things happen to women because other women are willing to take what they see at face value. They don’t ask questions. They’re just happy so long as they’re safe.”
A strange thing happened: for just a moment, it was like Steven wasn’t even there any more. It was just me and this girl Julia, and what I had to do.
“I’m willing to put myself at risk for this, Julia,” I told her. “Even if people question why I’m doing it, if they believe the worst. I’m going to be there wherever Steven is, waiting to protect you from yourself. And having another woman by his side is going to make a big difference to the situation, isn’t it, Julia?”
“Who are you, even?” Julia demanded.
“Nobody,” I said. “But you know the difference between nobody and somebody, Julia? A whole lot of bullshit, and that’s it.”
I didn’t think she really got it, but she took one step back, then another, and then she just turned and walked away, crossing the edge of the school property and disappearing down a little laneway I’d never gone down and was now even less likely to want to.
I turned my attention to Steven, feeling a little awkward after that whole interaction. Had I seriously just gone to the very edge of threatening a girl who, apparently, had parents with serious financial backing behind them?
“Wow,” said Steven. His disbelief told me it was all real. “You know, Tamara, you don’t have to go in for me like that, not now or ever. You don’t owe me anything, right?”
“That’s true. Quite the opposite, right? Because of you, I’ve got guys I don’t even know the name of getting their kicks harassing me.”
He shrank behind the bulk of his car again a little. “I’m sorry about that. I…”
“You panicked, the other day. I know. Sometimes these big dramatic actions work well for you… sometimes, not so well.”
“If I could take this one back…” He finally stepped around the car to join him. I hadn’t realised until then that I’d been waiting for him to do it. I flinched a little when he reached out to me. “How’s your hand?”
I knew he could tell I was shaking when he curled his big fingers around mine, but I couldn’t look at him to figure out how that was affecting him. “Not much to see there. I guess it helps if you just sock the fucker in the nose instead of going for hard bone.”
I grimaced. “In the nose? I didn’t stay around long enough to find out what happened there.”
“Oh, yeah, it’s probably broken. There was blood everywhere, they parcelled him off almost as quickly as Miller did you. What did you go through with her, anyway?”
A lot of things I wasn’t going to tell him. “I escaped getting suspended by a hair, but I’m definitely in trouble if I pull any more stunts like that. She wanted to get in contact with my mum to talk about what had happened. I think she drew some unjust conclusions when I explained I wasn’t living at home any more.”
Steven was squeezing my hand, somehow not quite enough to hurt, but I felt all of his skin all over mine. It scared me, knowing everything he was capable of, but now I knew some of what I was capable of, I thought I could stand it for now, without running away.
“It made me realise just how different everything is going to be, now. But this is still probably just the start of it. I’m afraid one day I’m going to wake up and it’ll hit me, what’s been done to me… and I don’t know what’s going to happen then.”
“What will happen is there’ll be some bad days, and some worse days,” said Steven. I wondered how he could be so confident about it… well, maybe he was actually telling me about his experiences with Julia.
Steven pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked it one-handed, then cocked his head at me. “How about we dip for a bit? I think I might be able to ease some of your worries… unless you think you’re going to end up over the line for skipping classes.”
“I think being out with you might be more dangerous than screwing with my education,” I admitted.
Steven shrugged. He was still holding my hand. “Are you coming?”
“Yeah,” I said, even though the decision made my heart start pounding so hard I could barely hear my own voice.
Chapter Thirty-One
She was amazing.
Definitely trouble for any man who decided to take her on, but compared to the sort of trouble I’d taken on before, she was good trouble.
Not that it was up to me to ‘decide’ to do anything. I couldn’t even imagine from my own experiences what it would be like for her to find out her father had done—that to her, but I imagined she might not be in a position to make those sorts of decisions for herself right now. She might never want to do it.
