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Calvin stood, breathing hard. Raymond wasn’t dead, but he needed a hospital. His nose was snapped, his cheeks sunken, his eyes a bruised and bloated mess. Calvin loomed over him.
“Don’t,” I croaked.
He paused and looked back. “Don’t what?”
“Kill him. Don’t kill him.”
His jaw worked. “Why? After what he did?”
“Noah will use it against you. You can’t murder your brother. You just can’t. We’ll hurt him more, but you can’t murder him.”
Calvin grimaced and glared at Raymond’s prostrate, unmoving form. I knew he wanted to do it. He’d keep beating his brother to death if I hadn’t spoken up. That was what their lives had amounted to, fighting and killing each other in the forest.
They were born to this. Three of them grew up but only one would survive.
Calvin released a guttural howl of rage then turned from his brother and came to me. He stooped down and lifted me into his arms. I clung to his neck and leaned against his chest as he carried me from the woods, legs moving like pistons.
Matthias met us at the back door. I was brought into the room, and a man appeared, one I’d never seen before. “Dr. Nero,” he said, smiling kindly. “I’ll take care of you.”
He looked me over, spoke to Calvin, then gave me pills. “For the pain.”
I swallowed them and watched Calvin as my eyelids fluttered. I was so tired. Exhausted really. What a long day. “I think I’ll nap.”
I closed my eyes and saw the bright red glow getting closer and closer and closer.
Dear Robyn
Imagine growing up in a house where you’re valued.
Where life is about something more than fighting, survival, victory.
Imagine feeling love. Warmth.
You can’t, can you?
Oh, Robyn, my sweet.
There are nights where I close my eyes and think about you. I picture all the things I want to do together. Children, houses, cars, first jobs, first anniversaries. All the normal things normal people do.
We’re not normal, are we?
I can give you other things. I can show you pleasure. Peel your panties off while you bend over and show me your dripping wet cunt. Spread you wide and lick you top to bottom, savoring every delightful inch.
I can do more. Pin you to the floor. Fuck you while you scream. Make you beg, yes, beg. Part your lips and pant my name. Come so hard you forget to hold back.
Release, love. Release. I can give you that.
I can give you blinding pleasure. I can wake you up with my tongue between your legs, or my cock bottoming out deep inside your warm, slick pussy. I want to watch you shower, get clean, and I want to make you filthy afterward.
I think that’s the only thing keeping me sane anymore. My desire for you. My need.
Hunger.
Because without that, without dreams of you to ground me, what would be left? All I know is struggle and pain and anger.
Addler and Des, they don’t know. Jarrod has some idea. But even he wouldn’t understand.
Only you, Robyn, my sweet.
Come to me, baby girl. Let me give you all I’ve imagined and more. Distract me from the hate. From the hurt.
Make my life mean something.
I’ll devote myself to you.
My goddess.
If only you’ll get down on your knees and swear you’ll be mine, all of you.
Forever.
Love,
C
18
Robyn
I woke up on my wedding day with a blinding headache.
I groaned, rolled over. It was early. The sun was just rising. The sky was pink through the gossamer curtains.
The bedroom was empty. Only me and the big bed.
Where was Calvin?
I sat up and felt dizzy. The day before came back in drips. Raymond’s leer. The pain from the cigarette.
My hand was wrapped in a bandage.
I got out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom.
God, I was a mess. Bruises on my neck. Bruises on my face. I looked like I’d gotten hit by a truck.
I started the shower, undressed, and got in. I let the steam fill up the bathroom, so hot it nearly scalded my skin. I wanted to be red, pink. I wanted to boil.
I heard the door open. Someone came in.
“Tell me it’s you this time.” My heart raced.
“It’s me.” Calvin’s voice.
I calmed, but marginally. “I’m in the shower.”
“I know.” His voice was closer. Right outside the door. I wiped my hand at eye-level and looked out.
He was naked.
I took a step back. The shower was big, the glass frosted just enough to blur his cut body. The steam covered over the window I’d made, and he disappeared.
“I’ll leave if you want me to.”
I opened my mouth to answer. I shut it again. I waited, the water running. I counted to twenty in my head before he opened the door and came inside.
Calvin.
Tall, beautiful Calvin. Blue eyes like ice. Blond hair pushed back and wavy. Full lips parted, mouth curved into a grimace, like he was holding himself back from something.
