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I stare and stare at the lights of the city, my city, the place I’ve spent the last two decades learning and conquering. And now I’m going to expand my business so that I have something to leave to our children, a future I never would’ve dreamed of before I met my Jessie.
“Jax?” she murmurs. “I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just… I want to be honest.”
“You’re right.” Turning back to her, I reach across the table and take her hand, stroking my thumb over her knuckles, feeling the tension in her. “Not about the other women. About being honest. We should be. Both of us.”
“Okay.”
Her eyes narrow as though she’s expecting a trick.
“You’re comparing yourself to other women. You’re saying you won’t measure up. You seem to think I’ve had some playboy lifestyle where I’ve jumped from one woman’s bed to the another.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she murmurs. “But when you were younger… I’ve seen photos of you, Jax. On the website, taken when you were in your early twenties. Personally, I prefer the silver fox look, with your silver streaked hair and your rugged good looks.”
Her blush deepens, but she smiles through it, valiantly battling against her shyness. “But there’s no denying how handsome you were, are. So are you really telling me you’ve never been with any other women?”
She says it with a heavy sense of irony, as though the thought is laughable, impossible.
“Yes,” I snarl. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
She tilts her head. “I don’t understand.”
“I never talk about this with anyone. I’ve never told anyone. I let people make their own assumptions, leaving gossipers to gossip. But the truth is, Jessie, my sweet Jessie… I’m a virgin too.”
“No way!”
She snatches her hand away, mouth gaping, shaking her head vehemently.
I laugh at her dramatic response, nodding my head as she shakes hers. “I’m not joking. When I was a teenager, I was always busy tinkering with computers, trying to get my silly little businesses off the ground. I wasn’t the man you saw in those photos, the man you see before you today.”
“Okay, fine, fine,” she says. “But after? You were twenty-three in the photo I saw. It said so in the caption.”
“I was looking for the woman I wanted to be with, forever. I was looking for the woman who would finally make me stop and take notice. I was looking for you, Jessie.”
“Are you telling me the truth?” she murmurs.
“I’m always going to tell you the truth,” I snarl.
“It’s just so hard to believe. I mean… there are movie stars, actual movie stars, who would go to bed with you if you just gave them a nod. You could have the most glamorous runway models in the world.”
“Sure. Maybe.”
“There’s no maybe about it,” she says. “It’s the truth.”
“Okay. It’s the truth. I could have actresses and models and socialites and all the women a man could want. I could have threesomes and fivesomes and fucking tensomes if I wanted. My life could be a never ending orgy… if I wanted.
“But I don’t want that. I want – need – you. I need your curvy body. I need your beautiful wavy hair. I need that way you have of looking at me, Jessie.”
“What way?” she whispers, pawing at her cheek, catching a tear before it falls.
“That way.” Reaching forward, I softly tweak her chin. “Like you understand me. Like you’re as batshit as I am.”
She laughs radiantly. “I don’t think that’s up for debate, is it?”
“So you believe me?”
She must sense the truth inside of me, because she grips onto my forearm, holding tightly. “Yes, I do. Even if it’s the wildest thing I’ve ever heard. Jaxon Walker, a virgin… Don’t you regret it, all those missed opportunities?”
I frown. “Not even a little bit. The missed opportunity would’ve been if I’d had meaningless sex just for the sake of it, ruining what you and I are going to have.”
“Most men wouldn’t feel that way,” she whispers.
“I don’t give a damn about most men or most anything. All I care about is us.”
She bites her lip and looks at me under her eyelashes, looking innocent, young, sexy, and mine. “Me too, Jax. Freaking heck. Me too.”
Chapter Nineteen
Jessie
I sit next to my man – my man – in the car as he guides us through the city. My whole body is buzzing from the scene on the rooftop, from how quickly we came together, revealing our true natures.
My mind whirs at the thought of Jaxon being a virgin, but when he stared into my eyes, I saw the truth in his expression.
My womb gave a near violent quiver when he said the word virgin, as though willing me to believe him. But I didn’t need any extra motivation.
I’m done doubting and second-guessing this magical unique thing happening between us.
