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“What did you say?” I grit out, sounding angry when that’s the last thing I feel.
But holding in all this lust is threatening to make me explode.
“Why me?” she whispers.
Because you’re beautiful. Because you’re everything I’ve ever fucking wanted in a woman. Because you belong to me.
But I can’t tell her any of this. I’ll sound like a madman.
“Carmen wants you to go in her place. She can’t attend and she thinks it would be good for you.”
My heart tightens when her expression drops, and she nods briefly. It’s a nod that says she’s used to being second choice, she expects it. It’s a nod that says of course I wouldn’t want her like that.
Her thoughts might as well be dancing in the air, urging me to catch them, they’re so readable on her expression.
“Sure. Of course. That makes sense. But…”
She looks at me, panic streaking across her features. Like she thinks I’m going to hurt her.
But I never would. I never could.
I would do anything to keep this woman safe.
“Can I say no?” she whispers.
Chapter Five
Jessie
His whole body seems to shake for a moment when I ask him if I have to come to the party. It’s quick, a series of explosions traveling up and down his body, causing his muscles to tighten like he’s getting ready to snap.
But as quickly as it happened, it’s gone, and I’m left wondering if I imagined it all, to begin with.
“Of course you can say no.” His voice is a growl, even when he’s trying to make his words palatable, even when I’m sure he’s trying to soften his anger toward me. “But I think this is a great opportunity.”
He’s sitting up, so close I could reach out and touch him. Okay, maybe that’s not true, because first I’d have to clamber across his giant desk.
But then I’d be able to squeeze my hand against his rock hard muscles, feel them as they press through the iron colored fabric of his suit.
He's so much more imposing in person, with his firm jaw and way of staring like he’s trying to set you on fire with just his eyes alone.
Is he irritated because I asked if I could refuse?
But no, he seemed angry before I asked the question.
Maybe he’s pissed at Carmen for offering this scenario. It’s clear he’d rather go with her instead.
“Jessie?” he says, his confident gruff voice piercing my thoughts.
“Sorry, Mr… Jaxon. I got distracted.”
“Yeah, I can tell.” He chuckles. And I wonder if he’s mocking me. “It’s not a date if that’s what you’re worried about. You’d be my companion, the same way Carmen is for these types of things.”
His lips twist as he says this, and not into a smirk, and not even near to a smile. It’s like the very thought of me taking his longtime lover’s place makes him sick.
“How would she feel about that?” I ask, feeling as though my gaze is superglued to the table.
But looking him in the eye – for more than a few fleeting moments – feels like an impossible effort.
“She thinks it’s going to help you, Jessie, encourage you to come out of your shell a little bit. She’s taken a real liking to you.”
“She has?” I can’t mask the surprise in my voice. “I thought I was just a big disappointment to her.”
“She’s always singing your praises.” His tone warms, triggering an answering cacophony of warmth to cascade through me, and tease me in ridiculous places, that point between my legs getting even steamier, even more distracting. “She’s only hard on you because she sees herself in you.”
I nod, glad he can’t tell how close I am to letting out a silly girlish moan.
His fury could so easily be lust…
In a different world, all that tightens ensnaring his alpha’s features could be desire. He’d leap on me and bring those strong hands to my shoulders, squeezing on as he drove his body up against mine.
But we don’t live in a different world. We live in this one.
In real life, he’d never want me.
“She’s said that,” I murmur. “But I find it difficult to believe.”
“I see shades of it,” he says. “But you’re right. You’re not all that similar, except that you’re shy and so was she, once.”
“Who said I’m shy?” I try for a laugh, but it comes out sounding all wrong. “I’m sorry, Mr… Jaxon I mean.” I really have to stop doing that. “But I’m not sure I’d be much of a replacement for Carmen. And no matter what she says, I’m sure it would bother her.”
“Why are you so sure?” he says curious.
“I’ve seen the photos of you, at the parties, over the years.”
I can hardly push the words out. They contort and sound raspy as if I’m dragging them from a place deep inside of me.
