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The place really hasn’t changed that much. I don’t guess in the grand scheme of things I’ve been gone that long. Inside, it feels like a lifetime. It’s hard for me to believe that once I planned on getting a house and living here with Callie. Losing her broke me, but it gave me the courage to push through and to really focus on my music. I put all my energy into it. If you had asked me in high school if I ever saw myself performing and making music my career, I would have laughed. I didn’t have the confidence in myself to ever entertain that. That’s changed and I guess I should be grateful to Callie for that.
I’ve given up my dreams of her and replaced them with other dreams. I’ve let her go, but at the same time, I still love her.
I think I’ll always love her.
Jake calls me a fool and I guess I am. Still, denying it wouldn’t change things. Besides, love shouldn’t be something you forget easily. I wouldn’t want to be the kind of person that does that. Jake gives me all kinds of shit for being what he calls a romantic at heart. Maybe I am, but I think he’s been running from what he feels for Katie. I think he’ll really regret it one day, but he didn’t allow any of us to talk with him and help him fight for Katie. I wanted to. I wanted to tell him about Lennon. I feel this immense guilt that I didn’t. Still, he was adamant before Katie even got pregnant that he never wanted kids and he seemed to drive it home daily. Katie was terrified to tell him and, in the end, didn’t. She let Jake leave to live his dream of the rodeo without being saddled to a wife and a child he didn’t want. I don’t know if she made the right choice, but I definitely see why she did it. I’m not about to judge her.
I turn into my parents’ driveway and frown. There’s a van parked in it and it looks like the one Jeff sent me a picture of. He wanted to show me what he bought Katie as a surprise. If Jake was the picture of being an anti-family man, Jeff is his complete opposite. He loves everything about being a father and a husband. His only problem is he’s trying it with a girl that’s still in love with his brother. I find myself rooting for them. I guess that’s part of being a romantic, too. I think it’s smart, however, that Katie’s not rushing into that decision.
It’s not surprising that Katie’s van is here. She mentioned going out with my mother and Callie today. Mr. Johnson’s old truck is still here though. I turn off my car and get out, giving my legs a minute to get used to standing. Hopping in a car right after a flight sucks when you haven’t had sleep.
The front door is cracked so I go inside. They’re all standing in the living room—well, no. Katie, Jeff, the Johnsons, and my mother are standing in the living room. Mitch and Callie are nowhere around. I don’t know whether to be happy or upset that they aren’t.
“I have no idea where she is. I went by her house. Her car was there, but she was nowhere to be seen. Mitch’s truck was gone, though.”
“What’s going on?” I ask, interrupting them.
“Reed,” Katie says, and she looks pale, her face worried.
“Oh, Reed,” Mom says, coming toward me with her arms open. I take her into a hug, but my gaze is on Katie.
“Hi, Mom,” I murmur.
“It’s so horrible son. Your father is gone,” she cries, and I am glad she can’t see my face because I’m probably rolling my eyes. My father was a drunk and an abusive S-O-B. Now, my mother wants to cry and pretend we’re all sorry he’s gone. We should be having a damn party.
“Where’s Callie and Mitch?” I ask, still looking at Katie. I don’t think it’s my imagination when she pales.
“We…uh…don’t know. Neither one of them are answering their phones. Considering Callie and I were meeting here to take Liza into town that’s beyond weird.”
“And no one was at their house?”
“Not that I could tell,” Katie says.
“Mom, do you still have that spare key Callie gave you?”
“Why, yes. It’s hanging on the key rack in the utility room,” she says.
“What are you going to do?” Katie asks.
“You can still take Mom into town, and I’ll ride over and see if I see any sign of them. If we still can’t get them on the phone, I’ll go inside and see if there’s any clue to where they might be,” I tell her as I walk to get the key. She’s hot on my heels. When I turn back around, I see they all are.
