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How stupid is that?
“I’m just not what you are looking for, Mandie. I’m never going to be,” I finally admit, going for honesty, because I truly don’t want to hurt her.
“Reed, I’m not asking for forever. I know you love Callie.”
Her quiet statement is like a gut punch. It hits so hard—so direct—that I flinch and stumble backwards before I can even process it. I feel color bleed from my face, shame rising inside of me. No man wants others to know that he’s in love with his brother’s wife. That he’s miserable because his brother has the life he’s always wanted. Fuck, no man wants to be viewed as a fool. Knowing I’m still in love with Callie definitely makes me feel that way.
“Mandie—” I start, my voice hoarse and full of anger. I couldn’t really tell you who the anger is directed toward, Mandie, Callie, Mitch… myself. Hell, maybe it’s all of us.
“It’s okay, Reed. You don’t need to feel ashamed about it. I think it’s beautiful that you still love Callie even after everything.”
“Yeah, beautiful,” I rumble, feeling like a fool. “Is this what Macon does these days? Makes fun of the idiot who can’t get over the girl he loved in high school?”
“Stop, Reed. I only know because I see you every day,” she responds. Her hand reaches out to hold mine.
She does see me every day. She runs the front office of the garage—which honestly is just another reason I should have never touched her. I pull my hand away from her moving past uncomfortable to just plain pissed off. Mandie might be a good person, but I don’t want to talk about this shit. I never want to talk about it.
“I have to go. I’ve got a show tonight in Galveston,” I mumble, avoiding looking at her completely.
“My grandparents live in Galveston. I could go with you and show you the town after your show,” she suggests, but she barely gets the words out when I’m already shaking my head no.
“Let’s don’t make this weird, Mandie. It’s over.”
“It never truly began, Reed,” she returns, and I nod my head in agreement.
“You’re right and there’s a million reasons for that. Instead of continuing to hash it out, let’s just agree to put it behind us,” I respond, hoping like fuck that she listens.
She stares up at me. She doesn’t speak. She doesn’t do anything but look at me. I see the questions on her face. I can even guess what they’re asking, but I ignore them. Nothing I could say to her is going to make her feel better. She sure as hell doesn’t need to hear that I slept with her because her dark hair and curvy body reminded me of Callie. That’s really not something any woman would want to hear.
“If that’s the way you want it,” she responds, her head going down.
“That’s just the way it is, Mandie. It doesn’t have anything to do with what I want.”
She may not understand that, but it’s true just the same. She nods, avoiding my eyes. I hate that I hurt her, but it’s not like I have a choice.
Thankfully, my phone rings, and I look at the number and feel a moment of surprise. When I look back up, Mandie is gone, and that’s definitely for the best. I click my phone and grab a seat on the top step as Mandie’s little Volkswagen starts up in the background and she drives away.
“Jake Ryan. Fuck man, where have you been?”
“Riding bulls and raising hell,” he laughs. “I figured I might as well call you. It seems you are never going to call me.”
“Not much changes here, Jake,” I respond.
“How’s Katie?”
“Happy,” I answer, and I know that probably hurts him, but it’s also the damn truth.
“Yeah, that’s what Jeff says. I’m glad,” he says, and he might be, but he sure doesn’t sound like he is.
“You knew she would move on if you left her, Jake.”
“Like you left Callie in your past?” the bastard asks.
“That’s a little different. Callie left me not the other way around. If you didn’t want Katie to move on, you should have taken her with you.”
“She wouldn’t go,” he mutters.
“So, you both made choices.”
“Yeah, I know. Choices suck, Reed.”
“You’re preaching to the choir, Jake. Preaching to the choir.”
“I suppose I am,” he acknowledges.
“Is that why you called?” I ask. “Were you hoping we could drown in our misery together?”
“You’re a sarcastic son of a bitch, Reed.”
“If I had a dollar,” I laugh—although the sound doesn’t have an ounce of humor in it.
“I want you to come out to California,” he says, taking me by surprise.
“What the hell would I do in California?”
“Same thing you do in Macon. You just wouldn’t do it watching Callie live her life belonging to your brother.”
