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Just for me.
“Where did you get these?” I ask, reaching down to pick them up. I hold them gingerly, almost like if I touch them too much they will disappear, or like they’re made of pure gold. To me right now, they probably mean much more than that.
“I got off work a little early and knew I had time before you got back with Katie,” he says with a shrug. “I drove into the city and grabbed a couple of boxes for you. I remember how you use to love to chew on them while watching the movie.”
I digest that, unable to say anything. Nothing I could say would tell him how much it means to me. I curl into his body, resting my head against him, as his arms go around me and we settle in to watch the movie. I reach down to get some popcorn at the same time he does and our hands bump into one another. He grins at me before putting some in his mouth. I giggle because he looks like a giant kid.
We settle in and watch the movie. I couldn’t really tell you what happened in it. I decided to concentrate on how good it felt to be in Reed’s arms instead. When it’s over I pull away, but I don’t really want to.
“Did you like it?” he asks, looking expectantly at me.
“It was the best movie ever,” I answer. I’m being honest, but it has nothing to do with the movie.
“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” he says, shaking his head at me.
“You’d be wrong,” I respond and of that, I’m a hundred percent positive.
“You only had one pack of your Twirlers.”
“I’m saving the other.”
“What for?” he questions, obviously surprised.
“Because I want to have something that will always remind me of how wonderful today has been,” I whisper, fighting my own awkwardness.
His hand comes up to brush against the side of my face, his eyes tender and shining with a light that warms me completely.
“It has been one of the best days of my life,” he agrees.
The moment feels electric. The air around us is heavy. My heart picks up in speed, but I fight it back. This is Reed. I’m safe with him. I hold onto that as he cautiously bends his head down and brushes his lips against mine. He pulls back, studying me. I rub my lips together, moistening them.
“Are you okay?” he asks, and I nod slowly. He bends down, his lips getting closer and closer to mine. Time seems to stand still and then, he’s kissing me. He’s careful. It’s probably the gentlest kiss in the history of kissing—but it’s beautiful.
When I feel his tongue slide against my lips, I open them, inviting him inside. He groans and I swallow the sound as he deepens the kiss. His tongue slides with mine and I relax into his hold, following his lead. It feels so good.
Then, his hand slides against my neck and his hold gets stronger as he pulls me into him. His kiss deepens and his tongue plunders my mouth, intent on owning me. I try to relax, but the more insistent he becomes the more I have trouble keeping the panic at bay. I start pushing against him, feeling like I’m suffocating. Reed’s lost in the kiss and at first doesn’t feel me begin to pull away. My nails bite into his upper arms as I twist away from him. Reed lets me go at once.
“Shit, I’m sorry, Callie. I lost my head.”
“It…it’s okay, R-Reed,” I tell him, my heart running away with me. I rub my palms along the side of my pants, drying the sweat from them. I step away from him as the feeling that I might faint begins to lessen and I get more control. “I…think I’ll go take a shower…if…if that’s okay?”
“It’s fine, honey. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not you, Reed. I want to kiss you. I do. I just…” I stop talking and end with a shrug. There’s just no easy way to admit that you’re damaged. He approaches me carefully and kisses my forehead. I tense, but I let him.
“It will get better, Bluebird. I’m not going anywhere.”
I swallow down another wave of nausea and hope I manage to give him a warm smile. Then I walk slowly from the room. I really want to run, but I force myself to go slow. I don’t want to make him feel worse. I get to my room and when I close the door, I press my back against it. It’s only then I realize I’m trembling…
Trembling and scared to death of a kiss by a man that I have loved my entire life. Reed deserves so much better than me. He gave me a perfect day and I know he’s out there feeling horrible. Even when I pretend to be normal, I mess things up. What life could I ever give Reed? He’s given up so much for me and he can’t even see that I’m not worth it.
