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That sounds like a whole lot of “asks” from the Fates. Big, big asks. But I've followed him this far, and I'll follow him into hell if need be. I cup his face in my chilly hands. "I'm with you every step of the way. You know that, right?" When he nods, I lean in and lightly kiss his lips. "Once this is done, we celebrate."
Kassam gives me one of his wicked smiles. "Celebrating is one of the things I do best."
"How did you celebrate in the past?" I twine my arms around his neck, leaning in. "Come to think of it, how many Anticipations is that for you?"
He shrugs. "Three or four. They are a blur to me."
Again, kinda seeing why the High Father sends them down over and over again. "Do you think you learned your lessons before?" When he shrugs again, I bite back a smile of affection. He can't help who he is. Kassam is someone that lives in the moment, someone addicted to pleasure. And while some of that is hedonism, I'd bet money that his real personality isn't all that far off from things. "Which Aspects win for you most often? I bet it's hedonism, isn't it? You strike me as heavy hedonism with a dash of arrogance in there."
His grin grows wider. "You think I'm arrogant?"
I scoff. "God, yeah. You're so fucking proud of yourself every time we climb into bed together." I scrunch up my face and deepen my voice, mimicking him. "Look at me, I'm Kassam of the Wild. I've got a big dildo to use on my woman. I like a finger in my butt. Hurr hurr."
He throws his head back and laughs, bright peals carrying through the nighttime forest. "You think I sound like that?"
"Oh, absolutely."
"Are we talking about how you sound, then, my pretty wife?" He kisses the tip of my nose. "Shall I point out how much you liked my dildo? How much you screamed your pleasure when I filled both your holes with toys? Shall I bring up how loudly you cry out my name when my mouth is on your sweet little clit—"
His words cut off when I press my fingers to his lips. He grins behind my fingertips, nipping at them. "Everyone's going to hear you," I whisper, biting back my laughter. "Keep it down."
"Shall I put my mouth on your sweet little clit right now?" he purrs, giving me a heated look.
I bite my lip, because I'm not sure how I feel about zombie sex. Is it…necrophilia? What if I can't get wet for him? My mouth is constantly dry as it is, and I don't know if the rest of me is drying out as well. It's a weird, weird thing to worry about. But…I still want him. And if he's right that tomorrow changes everything… I study him, my conflicting feelings surging through me. "Promise me you'll be safe tomorrow."
"I can promise nothing." He gives me a faint smile. "Only that this is something I must do."
Fair enough. I reach for him, pressing my ear to his chest, and for the first time, I notice his heart doesn't beat. Huh. Seems a weird thing to miss out on up until now, but maybe it's because I've become exceedingly aware of my own silent chest. I hug him tightly. "You're going to do amazing tomorrow. You'll kick her ass up one tree and down the next."
He rubs my back, a faint laugh escaping him. "I do not know about that, but I will not rest until she is defeated."
I nod against his chest, not wanting to move just yet. "Any regrets?"
"What would I possibly regret?" His voice is too light, too airy. Oh, there are some regrets there. My pleasure-loving god just doesn't want to admit them.
So I snuggle closer, my heart brimming with love for him and his soft, vulnerable parts that he hides behind a smile. "You don't have to say anything. Just hold me." I give his ribs a teasing poke. "Gods probably don't have regrets anyhow, just like they don't have real feelings."
He does, his big hand trailing up and down my dress, one given to me back in Chandrilhar. He's silent for so long that I hear the birds chirping and the distant howl of the wolves back with the army. We should probably get back soon, I realize. I've got to get one of Seth's messengers to start drafting the communications to go to the people of the city, and then they've got to be delivered, and—
"I have a few," Kassam finally admits, his tone achingly soft and gentle. "I regret that I did not realize how far Riekki would go when she was spurned. I should have been more careful with my words. I regret that I demanded that the conmac serve me, and when they would not do so willingly, I forced them to my will. I regret that every time I see those gold rings in their noses. I hate every time they look at me with their accusing yellow eyes. So yes, I have regrets."
