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Kassam nods. "We were split into our four greatest flaws—hedonism, arrogance, lies, and apathy. There are more flaws, of course, but those are the most deadly for a god. It is a punishment that is handed down time and time again, to purge us of the worst of our sins. The four Aspects are bound to the mortal plane until there is only one remaining. That Aspect—be it Hedonism, Lies, or whatever—is allowed to continue on as he is. The High Father does not value perfection, after all. Everyone must be flawed to grasp mortal concepts, because mortals are the most flawed of all."
I squint at him when he chuckles, as if this observation is vastly amusing.
"In the last Anticipation, I had just dispatched Lies. I was the last Aspect left, and set to return to my home, the Great Endless Forest. Instead of talking to me, my anchor, my very bond with humanity, betrayed me. He was in league with Riekki's wizards, and shoved an enchanted blade into my gut. With that, she broke the tether I had binding me to my anchor. He was free and I was…well, dead. Except the gods are not supposed to die in the Anticipation. Perhaps Riekki figured if she could not have me, no one could. I floated in the Abyss, the plane between the mortal realm and the divine aether, for I do not know how long. I was vaguely aware of my body. Of the sword nestled in my gut, here." He puts a fist to his chest, below his heart. "I was neither alive nor dead, divine nor mortal. I could not be killed, but because of the enchanted sword gutting me, I could not free myself, either. So I laid there and bled. And bled."
The donut in my mouth tastes like ash. I set it down in the box, horrified at what I'm hearing. "No one came after you?"
"No one," Kassam says with a faint smile. "It made me angry for a time, but then I realized…I had angered the goddess of knowledge. It would be a small thing for her to obscure my location. It would be an even smaller thing for her to spread the word that I am lost. That I have never returned from the Anticipation, and that there is no point in looking for me. So I remained where I was." He strokes the cat in his arms intently, as if his entire focus is suddenly on that small feline. "I remained there as the seasons changed, and so did humans. I bled and bled as armies rose and fell, the gods returned, fell once more, returned again. I remained where I was as cities crumbled into the ocean and were forgotten, just like me. I started to think I would be lost for all time. That no one would ever remember who Kassam of the Wild was."
My heart breaks for him. He tries to keep his tone light, but I can hear the pain in it. I can't imagine how horrible it was for him to be stranded like that, never mind the pain. He must have felt so alone. I reach out and touch his hand, and I don't even mind when it sends a ripple of pleasure racing through me. If it gives him pleasure, too, I want that. "Okay," I say softly. "So your dick of an anchor betrayed you and Riekki's a selfish ass. I think I'm up to speed now. None of the other gods tried?"
"If they did, Riekki likely obscured my location or the fact that it was me in the Blood Glacier, that it was my blood pooling in the desolate mountains of the east." He shakes his head, his gaze drifting off, and I can tell I've hit a nerve. He's wondering why no one else came after him, too. They're supposed to be gods, but no one gave a shit when he just up and disappeared for a thousand years.
I can't imagine. I just…can't.
I rub my thumb against his hand, squeezing his fingers. He seems to need to be touched, and when he clings to my hand, I decide I can do more. I pull the cat out of his grasp, setting it down at the foot of the bed, and then push the others aside. I lie down and indicate he should join me at my side. Instead, he rolls me onto my back and presses his cheek to my breasts, resting his head on top of me. His arms go around me tightly, and I feel so, so terrible for bringing it up. It's clear that his time spent trapped for so long that his blood made a fucking glacier has traumatized him. I pull his long, tangled hair free from the knot atop his head and run my fingers through it as he holds me tightly. "Okay, so everyone you know is a dick." When that elicits a chuckle, I feel a little better. "How did you get free?"
