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Uh. This is something we haven't really discussed in length, and I'm pretty sure I have feelings about it. "In your world?"
"If all goes well, yes."
Yup, I definitely have feelings about this. I stare at him through the shower of water. "To die?"
Kassam hands me shampoo again. "Not to die. I told you, I would protect you. Seth assures me that you will be safe. That to get back to my world, we are circumventing the usual rules. It should not have an effect on your mortality."
"But when you get back home, you're still Hedonism, right? Still stuck on the mortal plane? So you need me to die for you to go fully home." I pick up a bar of soap and my loofah, scrubbing the soap into the sponge. I have to do something with my hands, because this conversation is making me too nervous. "Where is your home, anyway?"
"It is the Great Endless Forest," Kassam says softly. "I miss it like I miss air…or the red moon. I feel as if I have been gone forever, and I wonder how it has fared in my absence."
Poor Kassam. I feel a hint of guilt at his words, but I'm still worried. "So that part of the plan hasn't changed. We get you home, and if I'm with you, I still die." At his silence, I scowl in his direction. "At least be honest with me, unless you plan on taking up the mantle of trickster god, as well."
"That part has not changed," Kassam admits. "I am still working on it."
"Cool, well, I have a simple solution," I say. "You go home, have a great time, and I'll stay here. You get yourself an anchor on your side."
"I want no one but you."
"Well, that's gonna be rough for you because I don't want to leave this world. My mother is here. My apartment is here. My job is here."
His eyes gleam slyly. "I took care of your job."
I flick water at him, enjoying it too much when he flinches back. "I sure don't want to transfer over to a strange world just to die."
Kassam pulls back my shower curtain and steps into the tub with me, ignoring my sounds of protest. His clothing immediately gets soaked, plastering to his skin. He takes the loofah from me, a displeased expression on his face as he gently moves it over my shoulders, soaping them up. "You are now my wife, Carly. I will not let you die. I vowed to keep you safe, and I mean to keep that promise." His gaze flicks to my eyes. "But it only works if we are together, so I can protect you."
But me being in danger is because I'm with him. "I've only known you for a few days, Kassam. How can I trust you when you say you're going to keep me safe when literally everything I've heard is that I need to die to help you?"
"I kept you safe in front of Seth, did I not?" He turns me with a touch of his hand and then begins to wash my back. "He thinks you are little more than a lust-addled cock-sleeve I am playing with. And because he thinks you are unimportant, he will not use you against me."
Ouch. "So that's why you sexed me in front of him?"
"That, and because I enjoyed it." I turn my head and glare at him, but he just chuckles. "You enjoyed it, too. You like being naughty with me."
Naughty? He thinks that was naughty? To me, it was full-on porno, but this is also a guy that's thousands of years old and misses a good old-fashioned orgy. I guess his version of filthy is slightly different than mine. Even so, it makes me want to one-up him. I know he does things to shock me and to make me gasp (as well as orgasm) and it makes me want to turn the tables on him. He thinks he's the only one that doesn't have to play fair? I can play along, too…
Except he's leaving and I don't plan on following.
Oh. Right.
I mull through my feelings on that as he scrubs my back with careful hands. I haven't thought about what comes next. I've been focusing so hard on Hurricane Kassam blasting through my life that I haven't stopped to consider how I feel about him leaving. Will I miss him? Probably a little. I'll miss the intense orgasms and his sunny personality. I'll miss the way his face lights up when he tastes something. But I won't miss the out-of-control feeling that's taken over my life, and I won't miss the fact that he makes me feel insignificant and very, very mortal.
It's going to be really weird to go back to my normal life. The moment he leaves, I'm probably going to be kicked out of my building. I've lost my job. I'm pretty sure I'm ruined for sex with other men at this point. Even so…I don't regret it? I like Kassam and want the best for him after all.
