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There are predators, too. I try to keep my distance from them because I'm skittish and afraid something will eat me, but they lurk at the edges of the clearing. Enormous wildcats with shaggy manes and dangerous fangs approach in entire prides, and wolf packs appear by the dozens. There are snakes and lizards, both big enough that they terrify me on sight. And there are some creatures straight out of a fairy tale that I've never seen before. Flying birds the size of houses that fly overhead and cast obscenely large shadows. Ground-prowling things with eagle-like heads and lionlike bodies. Gigantic worms with multiple heads and feelers that wreck the trees and pick fights with the gargantuan birds. I'm pretty sure I saw a centaur or two, but they keep their distance from me.
No dragons appear, which disappoints Kassam. "This world was once full of dragon-kind," he tells me as he regards his growing army, sprawling through the woods as far as the eye can see. "Perhaps if any live, they are ignoring my presence, like the clans are."
"Clans?" I ask.
"Ogres and goblins. Troll clans. If they yet exist, they are not answering the call." He shrugs. "It is just as well."
I want to tell him to send the gigantic worms and more monstrous things away, too, but I guess if we're making an army, we need the scariest creatures more than the deer. So I do my best to ignore them and they ignore me, too.
"When will we be ready to go?" I ask Kassam at one point.
"Soon," is all he says.
After a week of this, I watch one of the eagles tear apart a songbird that just laid there for them, and decide I need to get away for a bit. The wild is sometimes a bit “much” for me. Shoving my boots on, I glance around for Kassam. I find him near the edge of the pool, his eyes closed as birds rest in his antlers and a fox cradles between his thighs. Rabbits curl up against him, quivering at the sight of me, and I decide not to disturb him. He's having his “me” time and I want some of my own.
I turn around and head off into the trees.
The animals of all kinds part as I approach, making room for me. I take a few steps into the woods, and when they continue to trail behind me, I stop. "No, guys. This is break time. Potty time."
One of the deer watches me with dark, sweet eyes, an ear flicking. That face is so beautiful that it just reinforces that I need to get away for a bit. I have issues watching the gentler animals just lie down so the carnivores can eat them. Kassam says it's all part of the wild, and I know it's the circle of life and yadda yadda, but it's so hard for me to watch. I've been thinking of them like pets, but they're not pets. They're wild animals gathered into a very small area and my sheltered human brain is having a difficult time processing it.
"No one follow me," I say again, and when I take a few more steps into the woods, I'm relieved that the train of animals seems to be listening. I step away from the deer, and the big-as-tigers wildcats, and the griffins and everything else. I keep walking through the trees until the clustered animal “army” thins out and then there's just nothing but quiet trees around me, the only sound the rustle of leaves.
I feel like I can breathe. The tug of the bond between myself and Kassam is starting to pull, like a tight muscle, but it's not so bad. I'm farther from him than I've ever been before, but I'm not actually trying to leave him and so I think it's giving me a bit of leeway. I just need a few moments to myself, to gather my thoughts. So I walk through the woods, and when the bond starts to tug too hard, I turn back just enough for it to stop pulling and keep wandering. I'm not being foolish by heading away from camp—none of the creatures there will harm me, no matter how fierce they look, and there are no cities near here. It's just me catching my breath, because the realities of what a “wild army” is sometimes gets to me. I know griffins and bears have to eat. I just wish they wouldn't eat the sad-eyed deer, and right in front of me.
I'm thinking about those sad-eyed deer as I brush my fingers over a leafy fern, bright with flowers. Everything in the vicinity is in full bloom and flowering, as if simply being near Kassam is making the entire forest vibrant with health. It means plenty of fruit to eat, even if it doesn't fill me up much. After the last week spent watching the army gather, I'm not sure I could ever eat a steak again. I've watched too many meat-eaters relish their meals recently.
